Getting past the hunger...

Date:   3/28/2005 10:15:43 AM ( 19 y ago)

I went with J to his family's house for Easter dinner and immediately upon our arrival we were offered some dinner, which I politely declined. He dug in with both hands and I sat there realising that I could smell everything. Everyone was eating dessert, but since I am not a big dessert eater, I wasn't phased. Well, except for the strawberries that were putting out an intense fragrance. Oh yes, I was coveting them. Salivating in a Pavlovian response to something I've always loved. Stomach growling piteously. This has been a recurring theme during my cleanse; everywhere I go I run into perfectly ripe strawberries. So, I do believe I am going to go buy some stunningly perfect, organic strawberries tomorrow and I shall savour them one bite at a time as soon as my cleanse is broken.

I came home and J and I sat there watching the daily news debacle on television while I sipped my Yogi tea. Hunger, pure and simple. And such a strong hunger that my tummy hurt from being empty. I hid it from J because he gets so concerned that I am doing the cleanse too long, but I am actually fine. I just didn't have the where-withall to deal with discussing it anymore.

Slept deeply through the night and got up and went to the bathroom. What is coming out of me? I haven't eaten and suddenly am going and going again (not that you need to know this, but I am going to the bathroom as if I were eating solid food...there, that is my euphemistic phrase du jour!). Am loathe to drink my SWF, but will in a few minutes. It seems that all I do is go to the bathroom, yet since the whole idea is to rid my body of toxins, I seem to be right on track.

One other thing that has come up for me is a strong sense of positivity in myself. I am generally a sunny, positive woman, but the people around me can be negative (friends, family, even J). I used to get very upset when I would deal with their negative issues (talk about a bring down), but am trying to coax something positive out of them when they are negative. In a sense, this cleanse has made me able to help them 'reframe' what is happening to them in their lives. My Mother was in negative mode on the phone yesterday...letting me know that I am 'shooting myself in the foot' with every decision I've made. The old me would have hung up while the new me simply reframed what she said.

I wish I could do this cleanse longer. It seems as though a lot of non-physical changes are starting to happen. Still, I think I am done as of Wednesday but really will ease myself back into food. I've always eaten rather cleanly, so this won't be much of a transition back. Oh, aside from the strawberries which are top on my list!

 

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