lingering resentments

Date:   3/31/2006 7:38:45 AM ( 18 y ago)

I have stopped bleeding completely. Not that it was a gushing tidalwave of blood but it was enough to unnerve me. I can't get out of my mind how the doctor and the nurse was telling me to calm down and relax. Mother f*ckers... I wish I could have shoved a plastic cucumber up her ass and see how she likes it. I feel like crying. I don't even want to meditate. I feel like calling the hospital and complaining about their bedside manner but I had to go in for my STD results in four weeks. Imagine that. STDs... I want to write a letter to R*y cutting him off completely but I've not the motivation. I don't have the words yet to express myself. I feel as if I'm reliving the whole sorry experience. I feel as if I'm reliving every sorry painful moment of my sexua| life. I HATED that my cries of 'take it out' was dismissed. Unfortunately, I got better treatment at Planned Parenthood. How is it that those nurse who participate in the murder of unborn babies know how to insert a speculum into a woman's vagina and these doctors don't? I am just upset right now. Outside is so gorgeous, yet I don't feel like going outside. Plus my mother called me to nag me and I feel guilty about considering her to be a burdensome pest when she does that.

I'm just going to lay down and take a deep breath.

 

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