Pt 2 How God Led Me Through

Date:   2/25/2005 6:47:17 PM ( 19 y ago)

Continued...

(What I describe about my grief happened in a mere day, this was not a protracted time period) the next morning, with thoughts of plunging a knife through my heart and spitting at Jehovah I heard His words. They came through my open window from the tv in the apartment across the way, "the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your heart and your mental powers!" It was a television preacher a neighbor was watching, he said it again, repeated it several times, stressed it like he was trying to get through to someone who was not getting the point.

"the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your heart and your mental powers!"

"the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your heart and your mental powers!"

"the peace of God that excels all thought WILL GUARD YOUR HEART AND MENTAL POWERS!"

That someone who was not getting the point... was me. But like a light gleaming down on me I was suddenly overcome with "the peace of God that excels all thought!" I wept, not bitterly, but peacefully, knowing I was loved and was being shown God's merciful peace and all I had to do was GET THE POINT! Like the message that had come to me in the assembly first aid room, this message repeated was just for me. I still missed my Mogeronie, very much so, but every time I thought about her or looked at her picture I could smile and say to Satan "Nice try you piece of s##t." I had Jehovah in my corner, nothing could touch me with the same sting it once had. Nothing. He was guarding my heart and my mental powers.

Soon Jehovah began to lead me to see the "Matrix," the world that has been pulled over our eyes so we won't see the true world, as Morphius would say. There were cures for cancer and every other "incurable" disease out there! This greedy ultimately corrupt and ultimately powerful medical industry was allowing millions to die to peddle their drugs and their ineffective and barbaric treatments just to keep their wealth and power. In showing me these things Jehovah told me I could live, I could live by becoming healthy and strong, I would not have to poison myself with their/Satan's chemotherapy and radiation which would ultimately weaken me and make me susceptible to even more illness. He was telling me He had given me something special, something no one else in my family even knew about, something most people in the world don't know, He was telling me to teach them not to be the batteries that power their awful machine. So, that is what try to do.

Soon, weeks after my return home Jehovah returned Brandy to me, which did much to heal the wounds the Sue/Brandy/Brett/David had inflicted upon me for years. Later on Jehovah allowed me to see my dream, Tennessee. I remember sitting on the banks of the Little Pigeon river praying my gratitude to Him, for had he not been there, in the first aid room at the assembly, in the elevator at the doctor's office, whispering that his peace was there guarding me, I would not be here now. I thanked him for allowing me to live through my surgery so I could learn and share the invaluable things I have, so I could have the love of my daughter back and finally experience my Tennessee. My life was spared for a purpose, it was not to go about a mundane life and cope with or bear the burden for the crap that ultimately comes with the last days, it was to let people know that God is within all of us, His lifes' power is there within us, it is in all things living, and these things give His healing to our bodies, hearts, minds and spirits. This knowledge is not something I feel braggingly about because it was not anything I acquired for myself, it was a gift from a merciful God and so I give it as a gift of His mercy for all.

But more than any of these things my life was spared so I could come to know Jehovah did love me, all the doubts that I had been unworthy of love, His love especially, were dispelled. My greatest purpose, He has told me through all of this, is to let other people know that He feels the very same for them, and that He is just waiting for them to lay down whatever prides and prejudices that keep them from Him aside and come to Him, know Him again, feel His love and mercy for them again.

Thank you Jehovah, for your love. :)


 

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