How does Unconditional Love work in a relationship, when one partner does not feel appreciated?

Date:   1/4/2007 6:54:51 AM ( 17 y ago)

When we are in a relationship with our partner, life usually starts out positive, with each partner giving to the other and sharing his or her love. Then maybe 3 to 5 years into the relationship, as children come on the scene, time and financial pressures start to take their toll.

One or other of the partners may not be getting enough sleep, or is not happy in their job; these pressures of life start to wear down one's patience and one person may start to snap at the other with cutting remarks or not be fully supportive.

What should one do if one finds oneself in this situation? This can happen quite often with a couple where one person is evolving on the spiritual path of ascension faster then the other, or where their life paths start to go off in slightly different directions.

Unconditional Love is exactly that. When you give love unconditionally, you do it because you want to give your love unconditionally to the other. Unconditional Love means we do not expect to get a specific reaction and we do not feel hurt if we get a negative reaction.

Giving unconditionally means exactly that. If we are giving from our heart, connected to an infinite source of love, we are a channel through which Universal Love can flow unconditionally from one aspect of itself to another — One with this underlying field of Universal Life Force or Love.

Ask yourself why you are feeling hurt when your partner makes a negative comment. Remember it is not the comment that does the hurting; quite often it is our own reaction to the comment that creates the hurt.

We are in control of how we react. With awareness, we can choose what we want to create in that moment — something which is life supporting and positive for all.

If you truly do feel hurt, why not just let that feeling pass right through you and then choose again, what will make you happy. If the situation is getting out of hand and you are becoming physically hurt or injured, you may choose to take some positive steps to prevent this type of incident happening again.

Empower yourself, be mindful of your own thoughts — what they are creating between you and your partner. Try to look at things through their eyes and see why they may choose to say what they are saying. Instead of reacting negatively, ask them to explain what they mean, so you can better understand their point of view.

Look for the common ground, where you can both give to the relationship, what you are feeling in your heart. Have joint planning sessions, where you use your imagination to dream of a future situation that will please you both.

Look for ways you can spend quality time together following your hobbies or spending time in the country or at the beach. Plan your next vacation and choose what adventures would please both of you.

Look for ways to take the hard work out of life for each other. Share tasks and roles in life, so you can each get a better understanding of what the other is doing and being.


 

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