Step by Step do adult things now.

Date:   8/31/2007 1:12:52 PM ( 17 y ago)

11:05 AM
August 31, 07

Settling down without a shirt on
before a lit candle to continue
to stablize through paying a few bills.

Better keep my blinders on
and call in for support.

I did not sleep well last night.
I don't even want to get into
it.

The best I can do is be self contained right now
and not look outside myself for comfort.

Going to type in what I wrote
this morning and they focus:


from earlier this morning:


I am embarrassed.
I am angry,
really angry.
___

Dare I express myself fully?

___

I am aware more than evere
that I have the remnants
of subpersonality Solomon--
birth father--here running parts
of my subconscious.

____

Solomon:
Infantile behavoir

Do anything to have a woman around
even if the woman is very disagreeable
even if the woman kills dreams
and intensely stuck energy.

"Oh you're dreaming
the landlord will never bix that place!"

___

The antitode to my own baby man behavior
is do soem adult responsibility things now.

___

Highly disturbed over conversation
with TS in afternoon. Disturbed my sleep.
Don't even want to get into it.

Not important.
Be my own person.


___

Refrigerator is not working.
Waiting for repair man.

11:14 AM

___


$116.05

sprint

_____

12:54 PM

Randy, who fixed the stove downstairs years ago,
now works for the company that fixes refrigerators.

This was bought in March 02.

He cleared thick dust from underneath,
and broke up some ice in the Freon area.

Looked like I was going to need a new frigerator
but compressior and fan starting working
when he gave it some attention.

Needs some gaskets.

$65.00 so far.

I am needing to be very gentle on myself.

Not wanting to go on.

Father stuff weighing heavy on me,
his breakin by criminals and neighbors not doing anything.
Leaving Eva up there to handle this....

Not happy with Intimate support.

Something feels like dying.

__

See if I can do some more bill paying to ground.

Cox as long distance provider....????

___

Call Eva...


 

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