The Rodriguez Men at the Wedding Renewal Mass, June 17, 07
: A Vision of Joe helping me...clean out...
Night Vision during the night.
_____
8:48 AM
June 16, 07
I am getting a late start this morning
in recording Very Powerful Reflections.
I was up early this morning tending plants,
and walking the garden.
I was filled with inspiration.
I awoke in the middle of the night
to go to the bathroom.
I checked on the Staghorn fern
on my porch. It was somewhat stronger than it has been.
It needs more care.
I had the Revelation: we are no stronger than the health of our plants.
A Wedding Renewal: Papa Joe and Christina were remarried yesterday.
The strongest images are my own takes.
The Mass in a Catholic Church,
the images of all the family Women on one side
and the men on the other. All the Grandkids.
The Image of Papa Joe and Christina doing mass
on their knees. The professional camera person recording
everything.
The Wedding..checking in in this room filled with
guests, most I do not know whith familiar anchors.
Here is the child Alysia, the youngest of Joe Jr.
She was with us at Earth Day.
I enjoy the connection, seeing her all dressed up.
I ask her if she has been dressed up like this before,
with her hair in curls and long strands. She has.
She is a remarkable little girl, very Angelic.
She is shy in respects, but when I ask her a question,
she has something to say. She is highly intelligent.
I enjoy asking her if she would like a photo with
her grandpa. That is something the professional protographer
would never know to ask.
She is enthusiatic. We go to the head table.
Papa joe and Christina are sitting here.
There are somewhat tired at this point, perhaps and regrouping
from the Mass. Now we are in the Reception Hall.
It will be a long night.
I ask Alysia if she would like photos with any others.
She does. This is a way for me to connect, and a sweet highlight
of the evening for me.
I have numbers of ideas in my head for this event,
but I am in some sense a fist out of water.
I am reflecting off my own experiences with family
and weddings. Don's we all do that?
Don't we cry for ourselves in some way, for the love
we see, and the love we have not shared,
the way our own relationships are,
the unmet needs, the ocmparing.
50 years of marriage.
Six children, each with their own children,
and then there are now, children with children.
My God.
The slide show is wonderful.
It shows photos of Papa Joe and Christina at various
ages of Virility. Their are photos of the children growing up.
Every time a hansom image comes up of a man or woman,
their is a familiar hoot from the group. It is fun to hear this.
There are sentimental moments.
I am more reflecting off my own experiences.
i have to give myself a break now.
I am in Mercury Retrograde.
i have to go easy on myself.
There are things i would have liked to have done,
to have achieved, but i was in my own inner world
and it was not all comfortable.
I am reflecting off my own feelings for Twin Soul/Best Friend.
It is so easy to wonder and look at what i have created
in my own love life.
During the night, I have clarities.
She has written about her day, and i write back.
I want to be fully responsible.
I am choosing to be loved the way I am.
I am choosing the kind of relationship I have.
This morning.
YES, This morning....
Oh how elegant a morning of Dreams and Visions,
now watered down in part my my desire to upload some wedding photos.
There it is again...the questioning....
the Self Abandoment projected on Twin Soul/Best Friend.
Will she Abandon me for expressing my middle of the night
thoughts and admitting to my Vulnerabilities???
How silly that after so many years, I still question
that I will not be rejected. I never know really what
she will do next. Is that not what I have chosen with her????
I have chosen this kind of a woman that shakes me up
very often.
I can only say, I am choosing this because this is where I am
in my life, and this is the healing that is possible for me
to realize i cannot be abandoned nor rejected.
How Perfect a Match of a person to love.
She is Mercurial and will always, in her Twin Gemini nature
never be fully stable enough to my likely.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have an Other in our life
that we knew where we stood????
How secure that would be...to have someone we could control
to make our life easier. She is not controllable.
There is nothing to do but celebrate how alive she is,
how full of healing, and how I amazing it is to have a Twin Soul/Best Friend.
Ah this elegant morning!
The Vision are mainly departed now.
The Plan...for this land.
Oh please come again!
Forgive me for my humanness,
my hour by hour forgetting that these Holy Fires
of Inspiration dissapate as other Voices in the Household Awaken.
I forget i only have so much Juice,
and I am again tired.
Empathy for myself.
Self Love, Please, Leslie.
have Faith, Dear One inside.
Nothing is Lost!
Oh elegant Vision for this Place, Please come back to me....
I will rest a bit...and see if I can get back the Focus!!!
10:16 AM
Some Ideas...before leaving for FM...
got to get ready to go...
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=1175&i=2