A bunch of feelings and impossibilities that can and may likely happen.

Date:   4/14/2007 10:55:45 AM ( 17 y ago)

7:45 AM
April 14, 2007

Called Joe just now.
What a great friend!!!!

This is our Local Vendor's Day
at Whole Foods Market Hillcrest,
April 14, 2007.

There is a ton of things to do down there today,
but I will be ready.

I have to count on some of my Winter Prep,
and time alone when I went over the scr1pt in my
head for this day.

All I really need to do is have a bit of energy
to pull off this magificient day and I have it.

There is no sense grieving the last two weeks,
weeks when I processed out a let go of Twin Soul/Best Friend
and also dealt with the unbelievable time consuming
and energy draining Curezone Crash of April 1.

I had 268 blogs to recover.

I got a lot of help from Ana Baxter, Torrie Crocker,
and Zoebess, who all pitched in.

Torrie gave me tons of hours. Unbelievable.

Ana and Torrie both generated titles of lost blogs
using their expertise. Zoebess generated messages
and uploaded them to my comments from titles generated
by Ana. Zoebess did this without even asking.
She just saw want needed to be done that was posted
and did it!!!!! My oh My, how healing for me!
I am So appreciative. Ana jumped in first. What a special
human being! She got in there right at the beginning.
Then I saw Torrie was posting help during the middle of the
night. She jumped in too without asking and generated titles.

Then Torrie generated messages for me, looking up lost data
in the wee hours of the morning to beat the deadline of April 15.

Turns out many of the lost blogs are already gone and it is only
the 14th. Torrie put me first, and lost some of her own Blogs.
They are lost for good!

She puts herself above others. She cannot stop from
wanting to help others. It is a driving need.

Her Forum on Amalgams is well done.

I am going to help her get eyes there because she really
is doing a good job.

It is 8:31 AM now.

The EG Mobile was towed home yesterday.
I am not sure what is going on now. No ingition lights.
Maybe she did not like the high heat when they put
her in the over while she was getting her makeover paint job
the last ten days.She was fine going in.
Now Mike is going to have to lay hands
on her on Monday.

Oh well, I am learning so much from "finding a way"
No matter what.

When I had my international debut in 1998,
William Spear, a dear friend and international
teacher of Feng Shui, invited me to the the Ecology and Feng Shui Conference
at Kirpalu Retreat Center in Mass or Conn.

I tripped at Kinko's and broke a knee a couple days before
I was to leave on the airplane.

Lurrae Lupone, a dear friend, was at the other end to meet me
when I arrived in a wheelchair. Meds helped me sleep during
the flight there. That was kinda pleasant, Vicodin.

When we were about to leave to go home, we visited William
at his office, and near missed the plane!

I had the Pacific Symposium set up the next day here in
San Diego. I set that whole exhibit up on crutches, and did not
even have a ride that I could count on home each night.

A cripple on crutches, setting up a whole exhibit with a few
volunteers part time, and no ride home!

Jesus!

When Lurrae and I visited William, I was celebrating by then
an enormous success.

"What is possible between us next?" I asked him.
He said, "I am not interested in what is possible.
I am interested in what is impossible between us!"

William has been on the front lines of the Tsunami.
He went there with a team of doctors. He is always on the front
lines of the Passage to someplace where human beings may not
have been. What a lover of life. What a great human being.

I want to tell you something.

There is a part of me that really wants to be famous.

I will tell you why. You may be surprised.

There are a couple people who I miss, really want to see
before I make my final EXIT.

I would joke with Linda Hill. "Did Merv Call yet?"
Merv Griffin, or Griffith was a popular TV show host before
the Oprah Days.

Do you know why I wanted to be on Merv?

I will tell you.

I wanted to see Christina and Dania again.
They were my first lovers. I lost track of them many
years ago during my college days.

Both would have been mothers to my children, but we went
the abortion route. I have never had children of my own.
It is a big grief.

I have so enjoyed Twin Soul/Best Friend the last seven years.
I got to be a part of her ranting and raving, screaming,
and kvelling (look how good they did!).

What a lovely mom.

I have never met such an honest women, even with all
the parts of her that withhold information.

She eventually spills her guts before her guts eat her up alive.

I have been the recipent of her deepest trust for a man.

I will be forever grateful that I had the intimacy
to be a man to lift her
up through giving her a place
to learn to say "No!" as well as "Yes!"
She said both a lot to be over our seven
years together.

Last night I was playing with having a date with my new Soul Mate.

Twin Soul/Best Friend is not a Soul Mate. She is a Twin Soul.

She is an extreme mirror image of me, down to the way our bodies
can connect in the physical.

Wow! What a joy! What pleasure we could generate between us
and what pain I could generate in reaction to all I had to learn.

This is a morning when I am stopping to feel some feelings,
and then I will get on with this incredible day.

I am very human...William teaches that there is such as thing
as normal jealousy, grief, angry...etc.

When we feel these, we do not creat the abnormal psychosis and
neurosis reactions.


I am feeling some grief this morning about Twin Soul/Best Friend.

I was with her naked body in the shower about one half hour o.k.
in my head.

She has the most lovely body. She doesn't appreciate it as much
as I do, and I guess that can go both ways.

Now here is some other emotion:

Once in Journalism in Junior College, I had a black teacher
who was really good. She told us a story about a former boyfriend.
He had a lot of problems and she let him go.

Then, he got it together and became one of the wealthiest and most
famous of all black comedianne's. His name is Bill Cosby.

She was a little unnerved that she missed the boat, so to speak
on that relationship.

I don't know. I am a far distance from the confidence to really
become all that I can be and claim my full Receiving in this Life,
but there is always the possibility/impossibility I will do that.

If I do, a part of me will be imagining Twin Soul/Best Friend,
and what she will think...a bit of the competition between Souls,
maybe envy.

Of course, she has it in her to excel and do the most wonderful
things with her life in every way possible.

She has a "health opportunity" as they call it at the Optimal Health Institute.

Even though she believes it is impossible at times to get really well,
I have been with her in moments when she has totally been well.

Sex works wonders.

Oh well.


8:56 PM

Well I better get on with the day.

Joe is going to pick me up after he organizes FIVE Farmers' Markets.

We will bring a tent to Whole Foods.

I better call and tell them he is doing that,
and his own tables.

I will never forget the day when we did the impossible.

I had not slept since 3 AM the night before, and then
the next morning I had to drive out to the farm so I
could go with him up to LA for the Whole Foods Market Local
Vendor summit.

I rested maybe 30 minutes around 2 AM and then left.

The fog was so thick around the farm, that I missed turns
and ended up in what felt like a hole.

I called Joe it was near 5 AM.

He came and got me. He pulled me out of that hole.

Joe the Farmer is Joe Rodriguez Jr.

That night he covered my back.

I told him that this morning.

I thanked him for covering my back.

He said, "That is what friends are suppose to do
for each other!"

Joe is covering the back for a lot of people
right now.

Most of us do not have a clue how little Real Food is left,
but here is a man who is growing Real Food for us.

Twin Soul/Best Friend...

What a courageous woman.

She has released me, and it is likely one of the best things
that she has ever done in her life for both of us.

That's all I have to say.

They both pulled me up,
and I am deeply in gratitude.

Leslie

April 14, 07

 

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