December 22, 06
1:57 PM
On Being in Flames
but Not Burning
© 2006, Leslie Goldman,
Your Enchanted Gardener
She was like an animal that would cut off its
own foot to make sure it wasn’t trapped.
She asked a fellow shaman apprentice,
should I stop making love while I do this work?
She asked, I sensed because underneath her range
of conscious knowing, she was desperately
grabbing for some reason--any reason--
to back off from the exquisite intimacy we shared.
She had never opened so deeply with any man.
I was her first. She opened and loved
to her depths; She had to, to be fully alive
in her lovely body, that so craved life to feel itself fully.
The very act of making love deeply triggered
in her thoughts that she was trapped, in a cage,
in a box. How very confusing.
I did not help by wanting to be reassured that
even when she was with other men, she
would still have time to love me.
Even if she said she only wanted to be friends
with them, I felt an inner silenced urge within her
that likely wanted more. She struggled so with this.
My wanting to be reassured, made her want to run.
It brought up the feeling that she was trapped.
She had never known love without chains,
or not having her voice silenced. Everyone
she loved or who loved her, silenced her.
Her Voice:
I never heard a woman express her voice
so exquisitely when she made love.
She felt every movement. Intense movement
resonated with sounds coming out her mouth.
I was turned on most when she would say uncontrollably
“Oh God! Oh God!” I felt I was lifting her to Heaven,
as she brought me down to Earth.
Twin Soul/Best Friend
She wanted freedom so dearly,
but had not yet connected that freedom could be
found in loving deeply, that it was possible
to love me deeply and still be free.
I was committed to come to know this too.
To love deeply and still be free.
To love her was to challenge myself
to love, but not lose myself.
To be in her was to feel my own fire.
I was committed to be in flames, but not burn.
Your EG
Dedicated to Rabbi Larry Kushner
author of “Kabbalah
A Love Story"
Intended to work with creating Art now
from my Zohar photo, the Special photo
I took at the Kabbalah Conference.
I turn on "Holy Harmony", to focus my mind.
It repeats Sacred Hebrew Letters--
Kaballistic letters.
I feel Sparks. I start writing out
feelings and thoughts about
Twin Soul/Best Friend.
It is exciting. Creation,
Redemption, Revelation--
it is all coming together inside me
and I am grateful for doing this Great Work
of personal growth.
As I am writing, I am feeling
the energy of Rabbi Lawrence Kushner,
the author of "Kaballah,
A Love Story" around me.
I met him Monday night,
and took his photo.
His eyes lit up and he wanted a copy
of my photo.
In that room, he was being honored.
I was an unknown. I had no space
to express my Voice, I and Twin Soul/Best Friend
are one in this regard.
I knew that when I was writing this piece
above so inspired by Twin Soul/Best Friend.
Some part of me was wanting to show Lawrence, that
he was not the only author who could write about
the Fire of Kabbalah,
the Divine Passion of Love.
Leslie can write too!, some part of me
was screaming.
This is from the book jacket:
KABBALAH: A LOVE STORY
by Rabbi Lawrence Kushner
ISBN: 0-7679-2412-6
$17.95 / $23.95 in Canada
A Morgan Road Books Hardcover
(an imprint of the Broadway Doubleday Publishing Group)
http://www.morganroadbooks.com
On Sale, October 10, 2006
Available now for advance orders on Amazon
Sometime, somewhere, someone is searching for answers...
... in a thirteenth-century castle
... on a train to a concentration camp
... in a New York city apartment
Hidden within the binding of an ancient text that has been passed down through the ages lies the answer to one of the heart's eternal questions. When the text falls into the hands of Rabbi Kalman stern, he has no idea that his lonely life of intellectual pursuits is about to change once he opens the book. Soon afterward, he meets astronomer Isabel Benveniste, a woman of science who stirs his soul as no woman ahs for many years. But Kalman has much to learn before he can unlock his heart and let true love into his life. The key lies in the mysterious document he finds inside the Zohar, the master text of the Kabbalah.