What does it mean to live in Integrity Now in the FIfth Day?

Date:   11/29/2006 2:44:59 PM ( 18 y ago)

12:13 PM
November 29, 06

Lessons of Integrity
are showering down upon my consciousness today.

I am looking at living in all Four Worlds at once,
the Four Worlds of Kaballah. This to be would be
to be integrated as a human being.

The Inner Worlds are where Seed Dreams are born.
The Outer Worlds are where manifestation takes place.

The Word becomes Flesh.
The Word begins as an Inner Expression.

IT expressions outwardly by how I Keep My Word.
Do I do what I say?

Is what I do, in sync with the Inner Intentions
I have?

Feeling the Intensity now of things I need to say
and things I need to do.

Working with details.
There are so very many details
in so many directions.

I want to Care for Myself.
I want to Stand on My Own Two Feet
and Still have the Courage to be Vulnerable with
Another. I do not want to learn on another to be
my Mother or Father. I want to express Neediness
when I feel it, because they may indicate an area
of Hallowing I am doing in the moment.

I want to be my own Parent, and not depend
on a Her as a Source that keeps my Life together.
This is Old Stuff., old Growth Material that can
always come up when I Open to Physical Intimacy
with another.

I am wanting to live in Integrity with myself.

I am noticing how the EG Mobile has been starting
but did not start the other night when perhaps
Twin Soul/Best Friend parted company.

Was there something else I needed
to say? Was there a way of being treated
that matters to be when I part company
with someone who I have shared physical
intimacy?

Why was the energy such
that I needed to call in a tow company to get me on the road,
but ever since the Vechicle has been starting O.K.?

I feel frightened now...Oh please hold me,
the world seems like such an unsafe place.
Let me wrap my arms around myself, and be
the Parent my Parents may not have been.

Oh t here is something....Twin Soul/Best Friend
saw a Flaw in me. She came after me like a hammer.
I want Her to point out Flaws gently. I Treat her gently
when I see healing she needs. She saw something.
She pointed something out she has noticed time and time
again. She was telling me to get off it. I could get off it
just as quickly without feeling she was beating me up
as she pointed it out. Her point was well taken.

She was saying how She has heard the same story
over and over how I shut my mouth when I was 15
and started to create arthritis. She was asking me to
take responsibility that my father and step mother
had to deal with a teen on the rampage as much
as I had to deal with two adults who were out of line.

I don't like be told/hit with the errors of my ways with a hammer.

Enuf! Enuf!

I have too many others things to do to stay on track
with where I need to get to by Sunday, the day I teach.

What have I don't with my time today?

1. Called Hosting Solutions and renewed my web sites.
That was a scary email.

2. Did some EG Mobile clearing. That is Essential
to having things in order.

3. Sat down with Housemates and O.k.ed a plan
to bring in a Pro Housekeeper for deep cleaning.

Wait! Something else needs to be said there.

There is a person in the consciousness community
who does this work for a living. I would rather pay them
than a Pro Merry Maid for numbers of reasons.

I cannot believe that we need a Bonded person from
outside, that someone in the Consciousness Community
cannot do this job professionally and be Trusted.
I do not want to have a ":We Distrust" Vibe here.

Call Scott and Get the name of that person who
I interviewed to clean...

What are Her Credentials?

I had a good Vibe about her...
Marcia... Wow!!! found that...that was Quick!!!

12:40PM

Also, Scott, where is the Jumper I bought?
Why is it not in the basement?
Please take in the Chain Saw again.

...Call T.I.D. do not be afraid to remind
about Checks promised....

1:08 PM Done left message...
Cleaning the EG Mobile this morning.
Throwing out old things. Putting

1:13 PM

Call Tiffany...gallery for PCOM Photos...???
Left Voice Mail...

Alex Tiberi

 

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