primal screaming may be needed. New Creation, and backdrop of fears.

Date:   8/21/2006 6:21:39 PM ( 18 y ago)

4:16 P.M.
August 21, 06

Unexpected day of New Creation.
Brought out new posters for the Whole Being Weekend,
my offering, and a general poster.
Created a back side for the Job's Tears
new posters.

Did not imagine I would be doing this,
but better finish this now,
and I can get back to finishing the
Record Keeping.

Wish me luck. Going to Print now
and Michael is busy.

In the backdrop, I am shocked to
find myself back as a kid
left alone at night.
This material is in my body
and it is coming up.

Feel shame around this,
but underneath is my own power
of the Adult and this I want to find.

Can I? That is the fear.
Very powerful emotion
of seeking Mother.

Can I believe it is possble to cleanse this out?

Feel little
but ton's of redisovered poems support this healing.

Kathy dropped by.
She says that is what body work does...
and primal screaming.

Monsters. Monsters. Outside the window,
I feel things in the closet--those were the sensations
when little. Kathy says, they were Angels and Guides.
Re mem ber that.

I walk her to the car and drop down to pick up Job's Tears
on the sidewalk from the harvest in progress.

There are my keys lying on the pavement.
I did not know they were even missing.

Nice to know, to feel, someone, something,
is looking out
for me.

6:05 PM

Stopped home to pick up poetry book
I would like to read at the A.R.T.S Recovery.
Wonder if anyone will show up?
Been a very small group,
and numbers of the participants
have moved far./ one out of the Country.
for a year.

Not sure that I will not be the only one there.
Sad, this may be the last week for this group.

Got most of printing done.

Still feeling scared inside...
count really use a 12 step meeting.

stagnation--long term--weighing heavy on me.
Watching others who move, and move, and move,
and succeed. One was in touch today.
Profound success story now.
I helped him once when he was real down.

your eg



 

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