Realizing I can fall into the Crack in an instant these days. Resolving to increase my Spiritual Practices.

Date:   7/19/2006 12:55:54 PM ( 18 y ago)

10:13 AM
July 19, 06

Had an impactful day yesterday,
very shocking.

I woke up early with a revelatory dream.
Blogged it,

http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1785

then back to bed for an hour
and then to accupuncture at 9 AM.

Jessica, my intern at the Pacific College
of Oriental Medicine Clinic (PCOM)
is a real jewel.

I am amazed how I can drop Soul
Awareness to the depths of my Narrow places
almost like shifting weather patterns.

She treated me for grounding
and emotions.

I have been going through wide ranges
of anxiety, fear, and other feelings
in the Crack. These come up when
I do record keeping and confront these
areas where I do not have natural ability.

I realized that I needed more help
and support.

So I started to Google in the PCOM Library.
I blogged on that too.

I started to get really high and thought it would
be nice to take Jessica to lunch.

Just as I stepped out into the parking lot
three hours later, there was Jessica leaving
the building. I asked her to lunch, but she
was off to give a massage.

I was very excited and on a roll.
She was excited for my excitement.

I thought I would take the good energy
to Whole Foods, before going home to get back
into the record keeping.

There was a Jewish Couple shopping.
He had his Tzittis hanging out over his pants.
This is the spiritual undergarment that
Orthodox Jews wear.
I had a chance to point out where the Joe the Farmer
local food was. His wife appreciated this.
She asked if I were Jewish. I said Yes.

(Sometimes, under certain circumstances,
if I Christian asks me the same question,
I can say Yes too, but that is another story.)

There has been a sign I made over some of
the Joe the Farmer food that is not consistenty
in the store. It is not over where the lettuce is
and this is the place where it more appropriately
belongs.

I started to take to Shawn who was working one
of the racks. I was telling the story of how
Wild Oats has caught on to Locally Grown Food.
They had a major promotion going on at the Seal Beach
store when I was up there a few weeks ago,
but when I spoke to the Produce Manager there,
he told me that most of the signage was coming
from Boulder, the headquarters for Wild Oats,
but he wasn't sure what local actually meant!!!
That was a hoot!!!

He said the closest food they can get to Seal Beach
that is local is from Fresno, numbers of 100's of miles
away.

I asked Shawn to move that sign.
As I was talking, I was blocking the narrow path.

Bill, the produce manager, must have been listening in.
I have talked to Bill many times over the phone, but
never met him personally. He is generall quite personable.

I asked Shawn if he could move that sign.
He tried to take it off, but felt it might hurt the sign.

He came over and seemed to rip the sign
off the wall. He walked over and placed
it on top of the lettuce area, and then went
back to work a mile a minute with tomatoes.

Bill was really in a bad mood.

My heart sank. What a way to make
my first face to face meeting with Bill.

It is really a job to keep up with all that needs to
be done at the store.

I felt bad all day.
I completely lost my momemtum.
I was really tired, took a nap when I got home,
and then woke up in a deep hole.

I was totally shocked seeing how
mercurial I am. I was stunned to be
reminded that I can go from High to Low
in an instant.

This is something I really want to shift.

I called Judith, my friend and a counselor
around 4. Surprizingly, I was able to reach her
on the phone. Generally the machine picks up.

She reminded me that I have a pattern of
always coming back up.

She shared the insight that I am ethereal in nature
and really need to do constant practices to
activate the lower Rungs of the "God Ladder".

She was saying that Tai Chi helps.

"The God Ladder" is something she talks about
in her book. "A Mystics View of War."

This early morning I dd some Self Care, rubbing
Flower Essence Society (FES)
Benediction Oil on my forehead and wrists.

I stay in bed getting energy as to how to proceed
with the record keeping project.

I made some significant breakthroughs
about how to create a more seemless structure.

It is now 10:40 AM.

This morning, I took a significant step
to create a more seemless integration between
my Strength and Weakness through using the Tool
of the Record Keeping.

I set up a Report for EG Members.
This felt empowering and helped me tap into
Soul energies.

I realize there is great healing for me
in doing fewer things deeper--

I once had a shamanic healer
who said, "Take my activities to the point
of orgasm." That idea of staying with something,
rather than going from activity to activity
seems important now.

I relished in the energy that I got an Enchanted
Garden Membership completion from
Gordon Smith. Gordon is an old ally
and is now what the call the Governor of
this Slow Foods Region.

He had called last week for a photo I took of him
with Daryl Hannah, the activist actor.

I used that energy to get me back on keel.

Soul energies are what others call their Higher Power
in the 12 step work.

Then I shielded myself, remembering that
Judith tolk me to do this, and then I called Bill.
I started giving him a lot of energy and appreciation.
He was real honest and explained how much
work he had yesterday, and that it kept him overtime
for three hours. He wanted to go home.

It was a brief but healing talk.
He gave me some real juice, when
he said how much he loved the JR foods
and what a great guy Joe is.

I made some other calls
to keep my energy up to Enchanted Garden Members,
leaving messages.

I am going to call Teresa, the FES practitioner
and get some insight into how to use some the
Remedies I received at the Natural Product Expo West
from them.

I am feeling good about what I am doing.
I want to increase my spiritual practices
so I can keep my strength.

I realize how wide my narrow place and how
easily I can fall into it.

I am consciously going to proceed
with greating a more seemless integration
of my life allowing the Record Keeping to give
me strength, rathe than suck energy.

I am starting where I am, and going to build.

_
cslls to make:
Share with Lee Forman, my friend who also
helps with accounting...

I want more witnesses and advisors called in now
to support this healing endeavor.

I know that my isolation will fall away as
I create more and more connection with
the Soul Purpose. I want to set up my living
space to be in touch with my allies on a regular
basis--the members of the Enchanted Garden Club.

Your EG


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