Catching up with myself and thoughts.

Date:   4/11/2006 9:31:59 PM ( 18 y ago)

April 11, 06
7:11 PM


Being tired may not be helping.
I am feeling weary and discouraged.
Been working very hard for a number of days.
Got up very early to work with morning inspirations
as reflected in my Blogs that capture some of the
excitement I was feeling.

I was surprised how much I was getting down
and staying in an altered state,
but then I had to came down when
in my openness, I had to stop to make
corrections for a flyer for a friend.
Lots of static from Michael at Mail Boxes
and distrubing feedback about the way she
rubbed Michael the wrong way.

I could have made it easier if I had not been doing
so much and have him a head's up that something
he may not have done too often before was about
to be asked of him. I send over an email with an
attachment ot print.

I was working and working....really enjoying the creative flow
of writing on the new Images website, but had to stop to field
an email about more static with my bill to OTA. There are
things I need to learn about charging for my services.

I have been enjoying the real excitement of showing The Seven'
Love Cures and getting that instant, I need this,
I must have this response, with eyes wide open
and electric energy moving,

but here I am, needing many days to get to the other
side of grounded this creativity and meeting deadlines.
I just came back from Mail Boxes, mailing off
the Pitney Bowes postage machine. Don't ever
get involved with that company. They are so hard to deal
with. I was not getting value of this postage meter,
and then today there was this if you do not return it
in 10 days, The Government has given us permission
to charge you $1000.00.

Well that sure got me to the mailing station to det
that out of my energy field. Then there was faxing
OTA...that still needs some work, but that seems
a strong relationship. I don't know...cancel...cancel...
I have felt a lot of other strong things I thought I could
count on, but the bottom has been falling out
throughout the Winter.

Stop it! Stop it!

So many opportunities, but each is asking so much time.
My creativity alone can not cut it.
Rest! Rest! Your body shows you are pushing harding
than it wants to go, said the acupuncturist yesterday.

So here I am in a crunch.
I refilled my stock of The Seven Love Cures.
They are not laminated, and that is a project.

I am with pants down with the web sites.
In fact, some wash of underwear needs to be done
I see.

I haven't even a thought to preparations for the
Trek to LA and then out to the desert this weekend.

Thinks to Do:

1. Borrow a sleeping bag...
2. Need to bring wood.
3. Need to bring water.

Where do I want to be Thursday night...
will I be already in the Desert with Ronit,
Or am I going out there on Friday with Ariella?

Do I want to do a Thursday night Seder in town,
the official Second night?

Can I put on hold all the energy of the Websites
and so many pictures and creative inspirations
in process, but not complete.

I need a week just to work on that...
then there is the house issue undernearth...
a whole thing itself.

I am feel fairly solid about my emotions in
regard to relationship right now, Surprizingly
O;K. with being alone at a time when in previous
years, the unexcepted intimate encounter would happen.

O.K. to move on now...Thank God
and experience some new sensations of
being solid in myself, not needing Other.

So much for theory...the curves of a young woman
as I enter the Mail Box beckons me. I wish I did not
see and sense energy flows so dramatically,
so artistically, so powerful ly.

What next?

A bill or two to pay?
Can I rest now?

DO I need to make a call to see about a borrowed
sleeping bag?

Do I have to go out when a big part of me
needs to be in?

_











_____
April 11. 06
7:13 PM

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