Personal Resurrection. Deep sharing of understanding. This is where I am at as I enter this week of Passover and Easter's offering of Resurrection.

Date:   4/10/2006 9:48:00 AM ( 18 y ago)

April 10, 06
7:07 AM

Yesterday was a trying day,
I made it through. I have today
and tomorrow to do one heck of a lot
of work, as well as prepare to leave
for my annual pilgrimage to Los Angeles,
the City of my birth.

The bottom feel out yesterday.
I spent Saturday with Eva, my niece,
the daughter of my sister Vivian,
at the Optimum Health Instutute.

There is an Essene undercurrent there.
Dr. Garry White, in the old days, would teach
an Essene class there on Sunday nights,
the orientation night.

On the small list of books they recommend
at the close of each week's session, they have
about six books. One is "The Essene Gospel of Peace,"
by Edmond Bordeaux Szekely, that sells for $1.00
If you haven't a copy of that book, please get one.
It is a very challenging book, that is written as if
Jesus was speaking to the sick.

The original title of that book was the Essene Gospel
of John, when Szekely first put it out many years ago.
The reference to John, was John, Son of Zebedee,
one of the 12 of Jesus, his favorite, the one called,
along with his brother, the Sons of Thunder.

In latter days, it was the Soul of John that writes
the Book of Revelation, one of the most influenctial
books of the Bible. The Book of Revelation was channeled
by John as an old man. It is esoterically interpreted on
Seven Levels, including levels that describe the 144,000
that will rise up. On the level of the energetics of the body,
there are 144,000 acupuncture points. The Seven Churches
are the Seven Chakras.

Much of this information about the esoteric side of the Book
of Revelation was channeled for the Essene School of Thought
in 1979-80 in workshops with [ ], moderated
by Your Enchanted Gardener. There are hundreds of reams
of audio cassettes still in existence. The Enchanted Garden,
a name for our renewed earth, was one of thousands of inspirations
that came out of this body of information. The Enchanted Garden
is Eden, the garden returned.

We left the garden through a misunderstanding between Man
and Woman. We return to the Garden through increased
understanding between one Man and One Woman. Are you
Open to Love? In the Essene work, God is Love, and to Love
is God.

Organic Celebration is the outgrowth and precursor to
accepting increased understanding.

The way to embody the Enchanted Garden is to Plant Your Dream
and accept that all Seeds are props of God, here to grow Heaven
on Earth. IF not here, where? IF not now, when?

Saturday night, I got an email that set me to work.
Anthony Zolezzi, one of the key players in the Seed Dream
to move the orgnanic Market share from its current 2% to 10%
by 2010, sent me a simple email, wanting to know if I would have
a gallery of photos to share from the Organic Center Fundraiser
March 24. I started to work with my images site late into the night
Saturday. I worked on it Sunday morning right up till 12;30 before
heading to the Farmers' Market.

My technology is old. It is a painstacking process, working with each
photo on my Mac, then manipulating it in Photoshop for the web,
then emailing it to the PC, then uploading it to the Cute Site Builder
web site maker, then publishing the site. It takes at least 15 minutes
for one photo.

At one point, the Cute Site Builder program refused to publish.
This has happened before. I left to the FM not fully in this world.
A number of people felt my energy that I wear all over my body language
and face. I was thinking of this one woman the day before at
the Optimum Health Institute who had recently been diagosed
with MS, a fatal condition for many. She was very lovely, very much
in her youth. I heard she had recently lost 80 pounds.
She did not fully get me. She was reeling and seeking
what to do next. She was in pain.

Wanting to connect with her, to help her, was just my M.O.

I started to feel cut off at the FM. I started to feel the loss of breathe,
and the Crack inside me where I do not feel my Soul. The week
before here, I was on top of my game. I was seeing Love all around me.
I was taking photos of people. I was making trades of photos for
fresh bee pollen and high quality eggs. I was making deals for Joe
the Farmer, connecting him up with the Jesus lovers at the Calvary
Church at the end of the FM. I brought one of Calvary parishioners
over to Joe. It only made sense to hook the Church up with flowers
and have the members support Joe the Farmer.

Eva was there. Joseph the gardener from OHI (Optimal Health
Insitute) was there. We were having a ball.

And today, I had the revelation that I live through others.
I connect to life through connection to, breathing with a woman.
Maybe it is the Adam and Eve thing, who knows how far back it goes.
I feel completely left out at times, no mate, no coupling, no offspring,
way out of the continuity of what makes Life rich and basic for me.
When there is the right partnering, and this does not need to be
commitment in the conventional sense, but moreso, soul level
and earthy, I have more chance to feel here.

Sometimes, I can switch into Your Enchanted Gardener mode,
when I get absorbed in my work. It is nice to know there is a woman
somewhere who holds the umbilicus between me and the Universe.
OF course, this is Love Addicition, in some sense, typical Love Addition.
It is False Godding, as one of my coaches tells me.

I have been wanting to separate from this Love Addiction.
I have been wanting to do this by taking space from the woman
who takes me to Heaven on Earth, but also to Hell through our
personal M.O.'s of going in and out of the garden together.

I am clear she is innocent in many respects. But as my coach
says, to repeat the pattern once is ignorance. To not learn from it
when it occurs repeatedly, is self abuse. We can go from the depths
of feeling God together, and Sacred Sexuality together, to falling out
within hours. All that is needed is a few triggers into the Crack material
that we share, or have as individual expressions.

I can't say what I want to do with this now. I have to move on.
I have to find my life. I know all too well my patterns and what is behind
Door #1. I am in process now of becoming the person who will
open Door #2.

The story of Job is personally relevant to me.
There is a point in the story when all is returned to Job.
Job is tested by God through being challenged by the "Devil."
In Esoteric Essene Circles, Evil is merely Ignorance. It is the
Split in self. It is living on both sides of the Crack, and not doing
the Work that frees the Soul stuck in the Crack.

This is the week of the Cleansing.
This is the week for you and I to come out of Eqypt.

Anyone is free to come through the Crack, we can become
the person that can open Door #2, even if we are the person
who is repeatedly knocking on Door #1. I would go so far
as to say, that even the person behind Door #1 can get out
of there, but it is a trap to imagine that this is possible unless
we shift first.

By last night, the technology that was limiting me freed up.
I was able to publish the preliminary photos.

I have today and tomorrow to wrap around the photos,
the core of what I need to sustain myself at the level of Door #2.
The Universe is calling me out, and motioning toward freedom.

IT is a painful process. I would reach out to Door #1 before
I am transformed, before I am personally resurrected.
I am called to find myself, to mend the cracks in my own life,
to be the unbroken wholeness through increasing understanding.

I am the one that is called to understand and accept
and love me first.

your eg

7:46 AM





 

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