How to drink the juice. Expect your stuff to come up. Some deep thoughts told in an unusual way. Let me know how you like what I am saying here.

Date:   4/6/2006 4:36:21 PM ( 18 y ago)

The Second Door

April 5, 06
8:44 AM

We are working with Step Four
of the 12 Steps in my Step study class.
I almost did not return to this Step Study
after a two week absense.

I am still with a cold.
I didn't give the Apple Cider Vinegar a fair
chance to balance me out.

I took it last thing, but I had some
Stoneyfield Brown Cow creamy yogurt
near bedtime with some raw organic
unfiltered uncooked honey and some
carob powder.

Angel, my new housemate, was sitting
in the dining room in her white robe.
She said she was bored. I wanted to rescue
her a bit.

I now realize that I could have introduced her
to the Essene School of Thought Library.
She was talking about switching Vibe levels
the night before. She has been helping me
switch mine.

I have a Love Addiction.
No question about it.
I go days without speaking to Best Friend
and suddenly I can feel panicy as if some part
of me is missing. Sometimes it feels like
being without air. It is very anxiety producing.
I am no longer hiding this. We cannot get to other
levels if we are repressing or hiding.

We can't lose weight, if what is keeping the weight
on is using our added weight to keep us from feeling.
Let some pounds drop. Do some cleansing physically.
Guess what? Something is going to come up.
It has to come up! That is the issue
in the tissue, the repressed
energy, the stuckness hiding,
the Soul crying for release,
the behind,
the undernearth
the stagnation
that DEEp
deep down,
you are actually
wanting,
yearning,
asking
Please let this go.

Do you hear me?

Get ready for it.
It is a byproduct of the Juice Fast--
this Silver bullet remedy.

IT is not the Remedy that is going
to do the trick.
Healing is not a trick.
It is a journey,
and exploration,
a courageous outing
of an inning
something inside
that needs to come out.

IT is not a ghost hiding in the closet
that is the problem.
It is not this that you are secretly afraid of.
It is the Issue
you ate down.

Love it.
The answer is not in Loving Her or Him.
The addiction is because you are missing
a piece of you.

Let's go to the garden, you and I.
There are soft curves out there in the petals
of the Nectarine. Take your eyes.
I will take my camera for you
because I love you.

IT is O.K. to Love.
I am not saying "Do not Love!"
You must,
must, find a way to love
for your own good.

You can't stop Loving.
The fear is being scared to Love
in the first place.

Love will bring up the Addictions.
The Addictions are not to be Hidden.
Just Admit them. Just let the energy move.

I never imagined that there was a Second Door.
I have been wanting Door #1 to open so badly,
so much. I have been asking Door #1 to open
as if my breathe and Life depended on it.

There was really nothing behind Door #1
that was inherently destructive for me
but we make it destructive with our deep
attrachment to it and the wanting
as if IT is the THINg.

We are the Thing we are seeking.
We are the One that is wanting to be #1.

Angel, my new housemate in the White Robe,
was saying there are three doors.

I was desperately wanting door #1 so much.
I could never even conceived that there might be
a door #2, let along something behind it.

Last night, I went to Denny's with Diane.
I told her about the Three Doors.
She put down three sugars.
#1 was one color. #2 and #3 were pink.

I made a separation between #1 and the other two.
I moved #1 a bit out of my field of vision for a while.
I wanted to get a sense of the reality of #2.

I need to feel #2, to start imaging it.
To start welcoming me so I can start prepping
to allow the Love behind #2 to appear in my life.

I have to conceive it first this prize of New Spring
Life that is behind Door #2.

What is behind #1 I Know.
I know Her inside and out.
Thank God, I am not Knowing her right now.
I am taking a break from the Curves.

It helps to summon a bit of resentment
but she is innocent.

Resentment only hurts us.

So down the Juice.
Put it in a nice glass.
Get your own juicer.
I like the Green Power Juicer.
The Juice last longer.

Make sure it is not too sweet,
not all carrot, or fruit.

Use some Celery for the bones.

The Freshness is the thing.

Sip it. Do not drink it as if you are downing
a Pepsi. Swish the juice in your mouth.
Feel it in your head before it swallows.
Feel each swallow.

And whatever you do,
don't answer the phone right now.
It may be #1 calling.

© 2006, Your EG
feel free to send around
and send yourself to
Http://www.lesliegoldman.com
9:05 AM
April 5, 06


 

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