Saying too much.

Date:   2/7/2006 10:30:32 AM ( 18 y ago)

2/7/06
8:05 AM

Up Early before daylight.
Coming to terms with what is going on in my life.

Listening to my spirit and deeper parts of me.
I could write forever to Dear One
and tons of feelings are there
across the board of emotion.

Taking lots of notes.
Feelings all kinds of feelings.

Appreciating the good stuff.
Holding back the parts I would want to communicate.
Giving her Space to feel her healing moment..

Do not want to interfere with the experiences
her soul is asking for.

Do not want to say too much about that Now.

The House--The House--
What would the real rents me if I were just
renting specific spaces ?

What would it take to live here.

Did not eat much yesterday--
Day of challenge and meeting challenge
by going for Dreams.

Looking at the pressure I have caused letting my
life get so small and focusing so much energy on one person.

I know I am capable of the shifts she imagines I am not.
No need to say too much. She is reading this now.

Reclaiming. Reclaiming me.

God--the Creative Powers that be--just helped me
do something to shift a Photoshop background
so I can adapt "My Goddess Prayer for You"
to a more simple image that works.

Some new Pips of Love Cure poems
combined with my own words.

The mundane things...the laminator now
working properly...the continued leak from
vehicle..the status of financial reports, make
me cringe.

Doing an internal inventory, and appreciating
a summer when I made a trade with Spirit to
give her Space in Trade for fulfilling my Dreams.

I went all the way to Sacramento that summer
and was hanging out socially--if only for a few delightful
intimate moments--with the ex Gov of California.

The wounds. The hurts we give ourselves.
They are all correctable. The frustrations
seen in us, all correctable, if we want to do it.
Challenge shifts us.

The Gifts. The Gifts from allowing closeness:
The Good we can take, even from hard words
that tomorrow might be softened.

We all do are best to express.

We all need these Soul full experiences.

I do not want to be mean with my words
or make things happen, or shift the reality with her
other than how she wants to shift it.

I feel undervalued but only experience can show
by seeing the power on all chakras that is between us.
Maybe I am deluding myself for pleasure
and good growth.

Where does my energy belong now?

Go for a few simple dreams, see what I
have done to myself.

Do not use her as a "Liferaft."
Make my own life Valued
and Valuable. Find the solutions and reason
that Life can be worth living.

Care. Care for me, and appreciate the tender
space I am in.

See the Gift...How many poems have I already
written from this space that just need to be culled,
that support the coming out of The Seven Love
Cures Book.

Let Spirit show me how good my Life Can Be.
That there are others who will desire me.

I have said too much.

8:30 AM



 

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