Nightmare dream and a resolve to do my best,

Date:   1/23/2006 11:48:27 AM ( 18 y ago)

Lighting a candle in here
because it feels dark.

Feeling better getting resolve
that my purpose is beyond the record keeping
that I allow to beat me up.

Sorry, I can't go business like others.

I am resolved to finish as best I can and get it
to the accountant friends--04's
and then do 05's. The pressure disturbs
of this imcomplete.

Had a night mare around 6 AM

I left a run down place--some kind of resort
where I was staying with my childhood friend Richard.
He has succeeded so well in business,
and shared his healthy family life with me when we were teens.

I could see that this run down resort could benefit
from my ideas as I left. They were losing money.
I thought an herb garden would be great around the
massage tables they were putting outside on the grass.

Then I got on a bus heading South, but dozed off
and missed the last stop on the USA side.
Before I knew it, I was in Mexico.

I went up to the driver and he reassured me that they would
be turning around before long, so I just semi gazed outward.
I was enjoying the scenery, but then I realized we were way
out in the country and people were boarding the bus.

I went up to the driver and asked, when are you turning around
so I can get to the USA, my destination?

It was a driver, and we were going deeper and deeper in
Mexico. I was on uncharted ground.
I was terrifed and woke up.

My heart was hurting for the shock.
maybe some betrayal that he had let me down.
Then, I was thinking was a Ride
these figures are taking me on, so far my area
where I am competent.

I can hardly fit my life into the rules that are set up
unless I give all my myself, all of my time.
I will never get back, that is my fear, to the things
I am born to do, the detail work is painstaking,
and so very much of it, for no real reason because
I never end up owning taxes anyway.

So I am lighting this candle,
and accepting I am born to do non-profit work
that is lateral in thinking, things that no one
really knows to do, or wants to do.

I am hear to help the farmers.
To hold the space for new things coming into this
world like TCM growing in American Soil.
or other projects helping where I can.

From time to time I am strong in these,
and for this service, I am given what I have.

I make the most of it.

Maybe Getting Hip the Health Care system will get hip
as well to what is possible.

Focus! Get in and get out.
Do my best.

__
What is Lateral thinking?
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1142

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January 23, 06
9:48 AM

 

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