Lost in Cyberspace yesterday afternoon. A message for me is "do Less, Be more! once again.

Date:   12/17/2005 10:32:58 AM ( 19 y ago)

So much to clean up. It takes so much time.
My seed dream at the last Enchanted Garden Installation was
go "vertical!" In other words, do less, and connect the dots
between the Seed Dream--The Idea I want-- and the growing Seed--
what I plant in 3D.

The details are enough to eat up all our time just from one plant idea
growing, and so when I do too many things, I end up fruistrated
and bored and exhausted attempting so many things.

So "Let go" is the message as well. I find this very difficult,
how about you?

SO here we are on Saturday December 17 about 15 days to the end of the year.

I am getting a feel for better structures, and continuing going through
papers. I want to win back more space in my room. There are so
many little details undone...things that call my attention.

I find myself able to keep up with this only so many hours a day.
They I get tired.

I miss more human contact. it is cold in my room as well,
and so I have a tendency to turn on the tube into the late
night, wanting some contact, but what I find is amazingly
shallow, or pandering.

Have you ever watched Howard Stern? I never have.
I cought his show on E. This stands for Entertainment.
Amazing, captivating, human sexua| pandering. Here was
this one lovely woman and all this room full of men making
comments about her body. She wanted to be a Playboy model,
and presumably, Howard, and the beer bellies had some kind of pull,
so they had her show her breasts and pull down her pants so
they could more clearly evaluate if she was Playboy material.
There is also some grandma type with headphones on the set
who makes comments too. So the young woman, who would be
better served with other Seed Dreams, concurs that she is going
to get her "boobs" redone and lose about ten pounds, and come back
in March to show the results before she applies for Playboy Modelhood.

What a way for me to kill some time, watching this.

During the day, my most frequent phone calls are from finance companies
wanting to give me more credit,
and morgage lenders who want my business.
This makes me so angry. I answer the phone anticipating
some friend on the other end of the line.

The Clean UP...
I am takling care of things I did not have time to do during
my conference season.

Yesterday, I got a new keyboard for my Mac.
This has been about two months of frustration, attempting to deal
with a sticking delete button.

During the Feng Shui Conference Prep this August, I was in my summer
season and worked so hard for so many hours that the Shift key actually broke
in two pieces!

Feels good to have the keyboard working all in one piece.

The experience at the Apple Store was impactful.

I can't help but think, if there was this much interest in gardenering
a new world--being part of nature's original techology--rather than computer tech--our earth would look a whole lot better.

The store is filled with the latest and it reminds me of the tempting
Apple in the Garden of Eden.

While I was waiting for the keyboard to be installed, I listened to an
I-Pod class. I-Pods are the rage now.

For those in other "Operating Systems," who may not be familar, such as me, I-Pods area nifty little toy you carry around to listen to your favorite music, and...
I guess you have your cell phone in one pocket, and your I-pod in the other,
and your credit card somewhere in the back pocket.

Now they are creating Podcasts...these are recordings you can download,
such as talks from your professor at school, so you do not have to go to class.

They also have missed episodes of your favorite TV show that you can order
for $2.00 each or get the whole series.

You can also watch all the trailers from any movie you would like,
so you can decide who Movie you will g.

You can download the news and listen to it at your convenience.

I know there are a lot of independent radio shows on internet now...it is the rage coming in...you can download these if you know how. They aslo
will have Audio books of all kinds so you have something to do while
you sit in traffic.

in between my cleaning up, I have been attempting to catch up with
different techo advances that are not really that important but things I have wanted for a long time. Want, want, want.

Then, if I have my wits about me, I take a listen to Jack Canfield
speaking about Success Principles. Some of this makes sense.
He defnitely has his heart in the right place, and knows that
the quest for any kind of material success is based on personal
growth mastery, but to what end?

Jack also recognizing that what I bring is valuable. He wrote
in the book he gave me. "Thanks for keeping us focused on the
Essential."

AS I clean up, I see different loose ends.

I have wanted to have a way to translate my audio Essene tapes onto
CD's for a couple of years before they deteriorate too much. I want these
valuable tapes to be preserved for another generation (s).

This mean finding out how to do this....I find myself uploading this and that tech, attempting to work programs that are in many ways Mickey Mouse and crash. They I find myself attempting to learn stuff that would be best handled
by someone else who really knew what they were doing.

All these techo wants are of course so easily achieved if you just BUY, BUY,
BUY the latest APPLe. Just take one Byte here, and put down your credit card
for anolther $$2000.00 or so. Part of me would rather be debt free, but
it is very attractive to Want the lastest techo on my desk. Buying covers
over the frustration from doing too much, and not having basic needs met.

Yesterday, I actually, went into the garden and watered. Can you believe it?
The garden alone is a massive taking of energy but it also gives so much
back! I am reminded how good it feels to have plant friends that look to me
as children look to their friends, to make sure their seed grows.

There are lovely leaves of fall hanging on the nectarine tree. I was thinking
how much I would like to take time to record them...they look so Zen.
They are bright Fall orange.

The youth at the Genius Bar at the Apple Store had a cough and would
turn his head away to hack. The other day when I went in to order the
keyboard, that youth was hacking too.

I used my Chinese herb tech knowhow both times to keep from getting
my immune system down.

Jason, the youth helping me yesterday, said his dad helped him
easily transfer some audio tapes to CD's using the lastest Aopleness
software. That was so tempting. I could feel my Credit Card.

He said he has a double major at City College, Psychology and Art.,
Art with paintbrushes. "Have you ever grown anything?" I asked,
"I mean...have you ever gardened?"

I told him about my feelings, and wondered outloud if it were
possible to be on the Web and still be part of the Web of Life.

He said that many in his generation were definitely rebelling
against Computers. They wanted something real, something less
abstract and less virtual.

"Yes, there is a big difference between virtual sex
and real sex," I said, He agreed.

I noticed off in the distance of the jam packed store another youth
who looked dressed more like an upscale Hippy of my generation,
the kind who would go out and live on the land.
I was noticing him touching various new software's on the shelf.
A part of me was screaming, "Don't get sucked in! Can't you feel
how that will burn you?"

There is one of ours, I was thinking, a likely gardener prospect.
I never got close enough to talk to him. I was distracted waiting for
my keyboard and listening to the I-pod sermon.

On the way out, I stopped to play with the latest Apple. Right next
to me on her own Model was a youthful woman
playing a song. I felt her energy. She looked so yummy
in her bluejeans, and whole life up ahead. I hoped she got
some good guidance.

I left as the last glimmers
of light were going down.

I wanted deeply to make the Friday Farmers' Market and
feel something real pass through my lips.

8:31 AM
December 17, 05



 

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