Writing a morning Prayer, remember other Prayer, to get me through an uncomfortable place as i Come Home,

Date:   10/15/2005 11:47:42 AM ( 19 y ago)

Oh My Soul Remember me!
Help me take the piece work
I am and make Peace Work out of me!

Come into me Oh Precious Soul
as I long at times to come into a Woman.

Be Me. Be my Friend, Oh Soul,
Or Sacred Eternal Friend that comes and goes.

I Light a Candle to you.

Take me through these Fears
of Isolation through showing me
what Spirals Up and Up
from allowing myself to go Down
and Down into the Heart of Darkness.

Gabriel, stand at my side.
help Answer the questions I ask.

___

Standing in the kitchen,
cleaning out a basket
the bags some dirty where
fruits once fresh ask to be
turned back to soil thanks to worms.

It is the time of year now not to run from this place.

YES. YES. YES.

The bread food the Monk of Thich Nhat Hanh gave me.
the bread I did not eat fully, but only nibbled
I take it from the basket and use my strong knive on it.

I want to see all the pieces so that more wholeness
will emerge, not only for me, for all i love.

When did I first feel this?
How times have i felt this?

The Hebrew Prayers...I heard them again
the other day...rattled off by the last bastian of
Patriarchal Rabbidom dying.

I must live. I can't be held down by hearing these
words that are not Prayers to me.

My only solace through all this has been the comfort
of woman, be it my mother, or woman in any form.

i reach to hug myself,
sitting at the side of the bed
and feel tears that loosen frozen muscles
if i only believed that were possible.

9:02 AM
October 15, 05

_____

Counselors, physicians, named and unnamed
sages of cultures long gone by, eternal friends, family,
seen, unseen, wo know me as I truly am
in both strength and weakness, come to me.
Enter my dreams and walking world.
Witness and walk beside me
as one of your own seeks to grow up.

January 1985
in Rekindling of Faith

__

I can COME HOME.
I can. I have to believe I can come home
if I go through this place that i run from.
I can go through this discomfort.
I don't have to be ashamed that I am STILL feeling
things going through me that were implanted
more than 50 years ago.

I am not that same little boy
frightened by yelling and screaming
and BIG men telling me what to do
as if they knew what was Right for me.

9:09 AM
__


This is more Original Pain Work
that wants to reveal itself.

I am going to do some clean up,
and tend to other things as well
that will help me cross this divide.

I feel better writing.

Rigid thoughts taken in
become stuck bones.
Frozen feelings ask to
be felt. Be with me
through the healing.

We go there alone.
We go there together.

"But to see through each other's eyes
for an instant."--Thoreau
_____

The Moon is Full
from Confessions of an Essene Visionary
1987

http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=875


 

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