"be brief!" the Rabbi said, I felt like he was cutting off part of my male anatomy...Why is being "Scratched" part of the Cosmic Plan? Lots more...

Date:   10/14/2005 12:23:15 PM ( 19 y ago)

This is part two of my writings
on doing the Yom Kippur in
San Diego...

For the beginning of this story
see:

http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=869

I have had male Rabbi's cutting off
or cutting into parts of my Male sexua| anatomy
since I was one week old.

They do this Ritual--they say for health reasons
in the West--that has become widespread.
They call it Circumcision.

Circumcision--Yes--that is a Jewish thing
that kinda spread. The Jesus thing...
I do not think that there is any race to be blamed.

I think God had a Divine Plan in mind when
Jesus demonstrated on the Cross that
we do not die.

The closest any of us will ever come to Dying
is getting stuck in our narrow places
and letting our narrow places stop us from living.

No one can look at me and NOT tell their is something
physically wrong with me. I walk with a limp.
My head leans to one side and is stuck there.

Emotionally I am intense at times.
I am a lot ot take in; yet I am constantly
being told by women allies that never have never
met a man like me.

I know one of my purposes is life is to uplift women.
I know one of my purposes is to increase understanding
between men and women. I wrote The Seven Love Cures.
This are seven poems meant to be read outloud. The Seven
Love Cures are words that men need to know and women
want to hear.

There are a lot of us in small bodies, or bodies that are
"scratched." I want to tell you a Secret. I don't want
to hold this back from you out of love.

Being "Scratched" is one of those Jesus things.
IT is a GIft you give to humanity.
It is a gift you give to yourself.

Being scratched means that when you were with God
last out of body you stood before the Great Plant Maker
and told God that you wanted to be born on earth
and be one of the Souls intended to Fully Be Alive here.

Living Souls--Souls like Jesus--Souls like You and I--
who choose to be scratched--were scratched because
that means the Soul--deeply buried--is closer to being
touched. There is a Pre-Made Hole, a Scratch.

When you dig into your hole you will find horrific things
that will scare the hell out of you.

You will find things that don't even belong to you,.
You will find torment, pain, grief.
You will find hurt, and sadness that asks to be cried
out, screamed out, yelled out, walked out,
witnessed.

Mainly you will find
Stuff that asks to be LOVED.

Love makes the world go round.
Love is another way of asking that Consiousness
is One Unbroken Wholeness in Flowing Movement.

My friend Suzannah Crowder, herself an abused child,
is rising up with a lot of help from friends to become
a stunning best seller author. i am happy to promote her
work, just as she is happy to promote mine,

It is not the defects we imagine we have that are intended
to stop us from loving.

Many years ago I realized that if we believed in each other
to the degree we believe in Jesus, we would live in another
kind of world--the Enchanted Garden,

i have fears, some well grounded
in experience. There are places I do not like to go,
We have created a very ugly world where there is lots of mistrust
that is well deserved.

i want to underscore...our defects are not intended to stop us
from loving ourselves and loving others.

Often, we get home lots of ways.
I personally have a Soul agreement with one woman I love
to love her unconditionally. This is a painful challenge at times.
I get hurt. I accept as well that much of the anger I feel
is stuffed anger waiting for an outlet, or stuffed hurt waiting
to be triggered.

Most of us create Soul Allies because
we are Anger waiting to happen. We get triggered.
We have an opportunity to Grow UP because we
have the courage to be involved.

I do not my wholeness at times. Some of the best poems I have
ever written have been written during those times
when I am in touch with brokenness and addictions.

In the process of stopping time for myself, and putitng out
my writings, even though they show my vulnerability,
I am doing what I came to do.

This is the time of year when we have time to
look at these issues to clean them out
to find wiser ways to deal with shame
and blame, and guilt, and suffering
so that we can be Happier.

I know I am loveable.
I know i give ten times more than I receive.
I know I have a receiving problem.

I am here to know myself.
I have gotten as far a long as I have because of others
who love me, show me, connect with me, be present with me.

Back to the Male Anatomy--

The Jewish Folk have these powerful Technologies
called Prayers that they like to heap together.
Some Jews are so turned off by the Conventional
Technologies that they only show up once a year
in the Synagogue. The Jewish people say communal
prayers for the "departed" this time of year, so many
Jewish people, who would not normally show up,
show up because they will feel guilty otherwise.

I decided a long time ago I would not go to the Synagogue
out of obligation. I had enough pushing and shoving of
God down my throat as a kid.

My mother, who left this body, when I was 12, is not dead anyway.
She is right here, in part at my side, urging me on to love,
to love other women, to love myself.

She is Saint Material. I would like to rise up to help
others as much as she has helped me. Her experience
as a woman sensitives me to Woman Issues.

So at the services the other day, on the Kol Nidre--
one of the most solemn of the Prayer Technology Nights
of the Year--the opening of the Day of Judgement--
the Rabbi asked if anyone had brought Water or Soil
for the Earth RItual. Pretty New Age, don't you think?

This was my opportunity to get unstuck
from the horror I was feeling, sitting there taking in all this
Solemness, and painful body stuff stuck in me.

The Prayers are not my cup of tea, mainly because of the way
they were introduced into my life.

I came up.

Then came the "balls" cutting off thing.
The first thing the Rabbi said was "Be Brief."
This is not the first time he has said this to me
over the years.

He didn't say "Be Brief!" to the donors who brought
up the soil from China, or the water from the Jordon.

To Goldman, he says "Be Brief."
I admit I have a lot ot say, but I have learned
that in 30 seconds
and I can get a lot across.

So this time, I was a bit more long winded.
i wanted to introduce myself to this community.
i took about two minutes.

First i introduced the Holy Water of ZamZam by saying.

"How many of heard of Hegar?"
Hands went up.

She was the handmaiden of Sara who was under the illusion
that her Hubby Abraham could not make her pregnant. I think
part of this was that she was old in age. In any case, she did
get pregnant, so she wanted to get rid of Hegar and the first
born. She had Hegar and her little kid named ismael sent out
to the desert. This was no dessert.

I didn't say any of that.

I did say,
"Hegar was out in the desert kevthcing --whining-
"God! oh "God!" there is no water.

She was screaming so loud that this was
very annoying to God who was napping at the Time.
So God leaned over and made a cell phone call to
Gabriel, one of his Top Lady Archangels, and told
Her to get down there before she made a big stink.

Gabriel said, "Whoa, slow down
woman. There is water right under your feet!"

So next thing you know, her feet were all wet,
so she gave Ismael drink.

"That is how we got here today!" i said.

i also repeated the story, that after Sarah died.
Abraham remarried Hegar,and let bygones be bygones.

So Ismael was the progenitor
of the Islamic nations, and his half brother Isaac
was the father of the Jewish people.
Abraham was the father
of both, and it is up to each of us to clean up our
Brotherly relations now through rising up to be
the Peacemakers we can be in the world.

There is always blessing right under our nose,
but we are going so fast we seldom see it.

At this point I had some Peppermint Geranium in hand.
a long stem of it about 12 inches,
so I reached down and started to spank at the Rabbi's feet.
After all, a little humor seemed appropriate, and it was
already after we all did the solemn, I'm sorry thing.

Then, I asked the Rabbi to come pour some of the Holy Water
of ZamZam into all the varieties of soil.


i announced as well that i was going to take the
Soil home and plant some Holy Seeds in it.

That was it.

It took all of two minutes at the most.

The Rabbi, who is an acclaimed national writer,
and has quite a sense of humor said,
"Well you never know what you are going to get
here at the Elijah Minyan!"

Last year, i asked the Rabbi what he did with that soil,
and it sounded like they just sprinkle it on the ground
where they are.

There is a lovely woman Rabbinical student
who is also part of this community.

She had in mind
that she was going to give it to the Presbyterian garden,
the place where we were, that soil.

Later after the service there was an incredible Tussle
of Bodies between me and the Female Student Rabbi
who is about to graduate from the stringent Rabbi program
in LA.

She is into Body Movement, so she came up and told
me, being that she was in Charge of the Earth Ritual, that
she was going to spread that soil on the ground here.

I told her, i wanted to take it home.
Then we went into this movement with smiles on our faces.
It was a real Tussle. She leaned into me, and I learned into her, acting out
this great Cosmic War over the Earth between Men and Women.

Would the Women of the World have their Way?
Would the "Man" have his Way?

IT was all in Jest. She is one of my dear local allies.

i said, i would thing on this.

Next i Tussled with my other Female Ally in the Minyan,
who was in Charge of the Healing Circle the next Day,
that was to take place right before the Earth Ritual.

I asked her about what was planned.
I thought maybe there was something I could add.
Every moment was planned out, she told me.
Then we danced around a bit. i heard her.
I asked, "How can I help? Is there something
I can add?" without blowing the Plan that She had
been set in cement.

She knows me.
She is one of the women on my TOP five
Favorites in San Diego.

(Wow I want to write about later...
How I came to heal my relationship with being born
Jewish...)

She thought it would be great if I brought
some herb aromatics to the healing service.
She told me how she would like to
use them. I would have done it different, but it was Woman
in Charge, and that is Great with Me.

Her Way was actually really great, and an improvement
of the way i would have done it.

The next day, I was really impressed with what she did.
IT was beautiful.


(got to go fetch the EG Mobile... that is all fixed down
at The Bug House...back soon!
i will write about The Earth RItual itself....
later tonight.)





 

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