Checking in. Should be high right now about cleaning up and getting ready for the Whole Being Weekend, but I am more feeling llike a squirrel inside my feelings.

Date:   9/7/2005 5:36:50 PM ( 19 y ago)

Just interviewed a man named Alex
who is a grad student in Sociology.
He has been in San Diego for two weeks
from Portland. He says he will be studying a lot
if he moves in.

He wants to move in with his girlfriend
who he has had for two years.

I would hardly consider two people in the room
unless under special conditions.

It turns out she is in the food program right now
at the Tree of Life in Patagonia. I taught an
Essene workshop with Gabriel out here a couple
years ago, so there is a connect.

There was a squirrel on the sitting on top of the compost
bucket lid when I went out the door in the full sun.

I have not seen a squirrel around here for maybe two years.

Special animals show up at the Enchanted Garden
Intentional Community when different people move in.

Once, a woman moved into this same room and
two raccoons were fighting outside her room making
one hell of a loud squack. She turned out to get into some
heavy conflicts with another housemate. We connected
pretty good, but she left under duress.

What does squirrel mean?

I check Ted Andrews Animal Wise book.
it has something to do with nesting in in winter
and in Spring. I notice the weather is starting to change
in the early morning.

A hour later, I saw Lauren who is a lovely, lovely very
beautiful 23 year old who is studying to get ready to enter
medical school. We talked for the first time about doing
some gardening projects.

My energy is off--out of sync-with the Whole Being weekend
right now. I hope this changes.

I am feeling hurt with what feels like a dishonoring
of the natural role I play out there that is not feeling acknowledged.
I know it is my stuff.

A part of me would rather go up to the Gathering of Elders
right now in Big Bear that starts tomorrow.

I am wanting to jumpstart my energies for the Whole Being
Weekend. I am feeling triggered.

Oprah's show on the second half of Katrina is happening in
about 1/3 hour, so that will likely get my energy moving.

It is dangerous for me to feel out of sync with the Whole Being weekend.

Mel, one of the read dedicated communitarians was saying
that there are a lot of things wrong with the World right now.
The Whole Being Weekend is one of the things that are Right
in the world right now. I agree.

I felt so honored at the Feng Shui Conference to hold the space
as the one of the most present ceremonial presences for the event.
I would like to feel that same function here, but there is static.

There is some other growth pattern going on.

I feel I better reach out to one of my Enchanted Garden Club
Sponsors who is flying all the way in from Kentucky. to get some support.

If i were not feeling this way right now, I would be prepping materials
for the weekend. Now there feels like there is a cloud between me
and my spirit connection.

The phone is rung three times since I started writing this
blog. No one was there each time. I felt anger.
I had hoped it was Rob, the head of the Weekend.

My connection is definitely off,
and I better get back on line.



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