It is the unfelt stuff in our Cracks that keeps us in habits and diets that are not good for us. My elimination channels are not working sufficiently to live on many raw foods now.

Date:   4/7/2005 7:56:16 PM ( 19 y ago)

This world of ours, it is such an amazing place.
Three messages today that bring up stuff,
places inside myself where the wounded healer
feels the crack, the places inside that ask for soul growth.
Right now, I am feeling the pain.

A message from a close friend, one of the close
ones who has been very supportive the last month,
tells me to minimize the email communications between us.
He has some serious memorizing to do. He gives me a date
when he will be through, about a month away. I could write him
back and express my feelings, but where would that take us?
Better respect his wishes.

And then, I am feeling the loss my closest friend.
I had to say goodbye. The relationship was getting so small.
Phone calls were no longer o.k. Face to face was no longer o.k.
E-mails turned into attempts to clear the air, but did not help.
The very thoughts that were once considered complements,
were not disturbances to her.

I finally had to ask for her to stop the generic emails, to take me off
her list.

My heart has not changed--I feel I would be open to more between us
if there was more intimacy to really share.

These are the wounds of life. This are the things we eat down.

I so admire the models among us, who do so well on the raw food regimens.
It is such a beautiful ideal, and when the diet and lifestyle go hand in hand,
I have seen it work. When we are being fed from other things beside food,
it is easier to live lower on the food chain.

But then there are those of us who have stuck elimination channels,
skin, kidneys, lungs, bowels--and we have to go real slow or else
we are going to do more stirring up that eliminating.
We are too full of toxins of all kinds from all the statis.

I for one cannot handle citrus for this reason.
It stirs up the acids already in me.

And then, we come back to the stuff, the stuff
that is stuck--the stuff we are not breathing out,
or letting go because we are suppressing.

For me, "Love 'em and leave 'em" is a big one.
It goes all the way back to the death of my mother when I was 12.
Undealt with abandonment is in our cells.
It needs to come out , be felt. All the relationships
we have had--the broken dreams--the love lost--
it needs to be worked out somehow.

There are of course many ways.

It is these cracks that need to be gardened.
it is these cracks that need to be tended, mended, loved.
it takes a whole lot of opening to come to the place where diet and lifestyles can match.

It is the woundings we carry--the undealt with woundings--
that carry us into food regimens that are not good for us.
It is o.k. to go slow when it comes to making diet changes.
Get the support you need. If it is your path to eat a certain way.
Over time, your body will melt to that.
Along the way, find ways to work with the material in the cracks.

Your Enchanted Gardener



 

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