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FINDING MY RELIGION
David Ian Miller
Finding My Religion
What's It All About?
The surprise indie hit film "What the Bleep Do We Know?" tackles some of life's biggest questions, without really answering them: Where have we been? Why are we here? Where are we going? Part documentary, part feature, it's a quirky film that draws parallels between the mysteries of quantum physics -- a mind-expanding field whose findings suggest many so-called laws of science are a lot less ironclad than we once thought -- and some of humankind's most vexing spiritual queries.
The film weaves together sound bites from a series of mostly academic thinkers commenting on life's grand themes, with an occasionally loopy narrative starring actress Marlee Matlin. Depending on your point of view, it's either very deep stuff or too New Age for its own good. What's clear is that "What the Bleep ...?" which made more than $10 million even before its recent release on DVD, has struck a nerve.
Recently, I spoke with Fred Alan Wolf, a tousle-haired physicist who is one of the film's most animated voices. Wolf has written numerous books, including "Taking the Quantum Leap" which won a National Book Award, and "The Spiritual Universe." His work often deals with the intersection between science and spirituality.
Did the popularity of "What the Bleep Do We Know?" surprise you, given that the subject matter -- quantum physics, neurobiology, the nature of reality -- is kind of heady?
Sure, it both surprised and delighted me. But I sensed pretty early on that it would strike a nerve. When the film opened in Portland[, Ore.], I was there to answer questions from the audience, and I could tell that these were the type of people who are the true silent majority in this country. America today isn't in the religious Right -- even though there are millions of people in that movement. It isn't in the antireligious Left, either. It's in the center, and I think those are the people who caught on to the film.
What do you think made it so appealing to them?
Well, the spiritual experience is really what people hunger for, and I think the film addressed that hunger. People came away from it with that exaltation or excitement that comes when you have a spiritual awakening. Movies can sometimes provide that kind of opening in people, and this one did that.
These days, conflicts over religious and moral questions are grabbing headlines on a daily basis. I wonder if you think we're moving closer to spiritual ideas and values as a society, or further away?
I was born in 1934, so I've seen lots of phases come and go -- certainly during the '60s, I thought we were going in the right direction, but that turned into being a great big drugfest. And then we had this rebirth of -- I don't know what you want to call it -- a red-white-and-bluism that I thought we had gotten rid of before. It's blind patriotism, which seems to have sided with an extreme right wing of religious practitioners. But I think that's fading now. I think that's not going to hold.
Do you really think the religious Right is fading in this country? I mean, you could argue that it has more influence today than it's ever had.
Well, maybe fading is the wrong word. Let's say it's come to what might be called the peak of its curve. I think we're now moving into another kind of direction. There is a new spirituality that I think you're seeing. I think the film has indicated that to us. I mean, it's kind of a spirituality that unites rather than separates.
Did you grow up with a particular religious bent?
Not really. I was born of Jewish parents, and they -- being first-generation Americans themselves -- weren't very religious.
That said, you consider yourself a spiritual person. So, what's the difference, in your view, between spirituality and religion?
The way I see it, religion is a kind of a vessel that hopes to hold a spiritual elixir, but mostly it's just an empty vial. And most people who practice religion don't get out of it what their religion is supposed to do for them, which is to invoke or enliven the spiritual experience.
What do you consider a spiritual experience?
Anytime you have a kind of "aha!" moment, where you feel a sudden lightening bolt of enlightenment. I've had many such awakenings. A lot of them have happened while I've been traveling in other parts of the world. Once, when I was at a Buddhist temple in India, I had a spiritual awakening -- believe it or not -- when a fly landed on my foot. You might say, "My God, what kind of an awakening can that be?" Well, it was profound.
What happened?
Well, I was in the temple, and the Buddhists were chanting. Then, suddenly, this fly landed on my foot. I felt as if my consciousness and the fly's consciousness had become one consciousness. When I looked down to see where the Buddhists were chanting, it was like looking through an infinity mirror. I saw an infinity of Buddhist monks going back all the way to the beginning of time. It all happened in a flash, and it was very moving to me.
You don't hear many scientists talking about such things. When you tell your colleagues a story like that, do they ever look at you like you're crazy?
No, they don't, because usually they have no idea of what I'm talking about. [Laughs.] Actually, there are a number of really good scientists out there who have had these kinds of experiences but will not talk about them -- they like to keep their science in one pocket and their spiritual beliefs in a whole other pocket.
Do you think it's possible to bridge that gap between science and spirituality?
Well, let's put it this way -- they're not going to just come together and be one. Nobody's going to get a degree in quantum Christianity or something like that. But I think a dialogue, a meaningful dialogue, will take place. These dialogues happened in ancient times. I mean, there was no separation then between philosophy, religion and spirituality. The Greeks talked about earth, air, fire and water. And they also talked about a quintessence ["fifth essence"], which they called physis, which was the spiritual aspect of it all, from which the word physics even comes. So it seems to me that in our present state of consciousness, that kind of bridge could be made, and be fairly firm.
How do you get scientists thinking seriously about spirituality?
Many scientists have their first spiritual awakening when somebody close to them dies. Then, suddenly, they realize what life is about, and they begin to see the illusion of "I'm going to live forever." Once that happens, you begin to open your mind to the possibility that your head may be full of demons when you think all that's out there is a godless universe of law and chaos.
How about you? Do you think about death much?
I've been thinking about it for a long time. I lost a son at the age of 25, and that had mystical implications for me. I also lost my father when I was 23. I lost my mother about 25 years ago. So I've had a number of deaths, and a number of -- let's call it "visits" of certain kinds, of a spiritual quality that also were important to me and instructive to me, and heartening for me.
What do you think happens when we die?
Well, as far as I know -- as far as I can tell, there is a return to what I call "the Big Elephant." It's a funny thing -- spirituality is like an elephant in the room, a huge thing that nobody can see. The elephant is your spiritual essence, your essential self. That's different from your ego self, or the person you identify with in body/mind consciousness. This other form of consciousness may actually be running the show, and we have no idea who or what it is.
What do you think it is?
Well, I come to this understanding not only through my spiritual qualities or experiences but also through quantum physics itself, because in quantum physics, we have this wonderful fact of life that says, "Observation of reality is very different than things just interacting with each other to make reality." In other words, it isn't just a question of consciousness arising from particles banging into each other in your brain or something like that -- which is the way many scientists tend to look at it -- but it's more like how physicists picture it in quantum physics. The picture shows that what we imagine to be particles bang into each other and give rise to waves of possibilities, such as where and when these particles will appear. These waves don't become real until a conscious observation occurs. Somehow, when you consciously observe a possibility, it becomes real and "out there." And the evidence seems to be pointing, as far as I can tell, to the conclusion that there is only one true observer in this whole universe. And what death seems to be is a return to that one observer -- whether you want to call that God, or you want to call it the soul of the universe, or just the Big Kahuna, I don't care. But that's what seems to happen.
Do you ever pray? Do you ever try to connect with this observer that you're talking about?
Only at times of extreme stress, like when my father was dying, I think I prayed. But other than that, I don't pray. I know that may seem terrible, but I just don't. A long time ago, when I began this career of doing what I'm doing right now -- of writing books and getting out of my normal routine, which was a professor of physics at San Diego State University, I kind of said, "I surrender to the powers that be. Use me. I'm here to be used. I'll do whatever guides me into that." I just did that. And that was my last -- if you want to -- prayer. In my way of thinking, God is always present in me. And it's not a question if I have to pray to somebody out there. He knows what's going on, or she knows what's going on, or it knows what's going on.
Do you have any spiritual practice that you do?
The only practice I have is the everyday, every-moment act of honoring the spiritual in everybody I meet, in everything I meet; I call it "living in the mystery of now" -- just enjoying the moment as it is right now, regardless of what is in store for me, or what's happening to me. I practice it with all my friends and all my relationships. I certainly practice it in my marriage. My marriage is very sacred to me, and I try to honor my wife and the spirit in her. And that's what makes our union a blessed one, because we both have that intention. It's not that we're walking around on eggshells around each other. No, no, we scream and yell like everybody else. But there's an inherent understanding that's deep within us.
So, what are you working on these days?
Right now, I'm interested in heaven and hell. How do these ideas arise? And is there something in our quantum physical observation of reality that would make such imagery arise? And I think there is, so now I'm working out the details of that.
That sounds interesting. Can you say more?
You know, there are people that walk around believing that whatever religious belief they have, it's the truth. And what I've learned from science, and from my own investigation of the spiritual belief systems I've seen around the world, is there's no such thing as "the" truth. There are many different truths, and [one or some] appear to a believer as "the" truth, while the other truths appear as lies. And that, unfortunately, is what breeds a kind of malcontent, and a false, God-like holding onto things, and leads to -- you guessed it -- heaven and hell.
