My Onion by Chef JeM .....

Resending resentment.

Date:   9/2/2016 9:52:13 AM ( 5 y ago)

May 28th, 2018 -

The following quote from the 25th Gene Key infuses this blog with the most meaningful insight that I could possibly hope for!

"The 25th Gene Key is the master key within the genetic codon group known as the Ring of Humanity. The 25th Gene Key is the core of your humanity. It is the irritation inside the oyster that eventually causes the formation of the pearl, and the pearl is acceptance. Acceptance is the grail that you are seeking. When you can finally accept everything in your life just as it is right now, you will have embraced the human wound. Acceptance comes in layers — layers upon layers - just like the tightly wound genetic double helix itself You have to relax these layers deep inside you so that you can feel the flow of love once more moving within your being. The more you can accept yourself and others, the more love will bloom in your life. It is beautiful and as simple as that."

September 2, 2016 -

The words of wisdom for myself for September are:
"DON'T: Take on so much responsibility that you begin to feel resentful"

Actually this has been applicable to me for some time now. In fact the way the "resentment" often manifests in my body is via back pain. I feel the pain now. It increased after I took out a second extra heavy recycling bin that may have been too heavy for the other "fellow gardeners" to handle. I don't know. But the most direct way out to the street was blocked and I'm reasonably sure that is where resentment was easily triggered in me. And I think the triggering was at least somewhat if not entirely unconscious. Nevertheless now that I have made it this conscious I intend to at least give my self some EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).

September 20th -

The back pain is finally diminished to a minimal level of non-importance to me. I am grateful.

I see my "compulsion" to be responsible in this "garden" relevant to my Human Design. I have "The Channel of Community" that I believe is largely implicated here. This channel is described in part as:

".. Loyalty and hard work for the benefit of your family emerge from this facet of a Design. And there are bargains and trade-offs here. Each person has to feel adequately supported and honored. They will work hard for the tribes needs and they want to be acknowledged and rewarded for this. So they will work hard and then they want to play hard when the work is done."[1]

I have worked hard over the past eight years for my garden "family" however I have not felt "adequately supported and honored". I have had to do a lot of forgiving in this regards and holding the garden manager innocent of all my "charges". However the only way that I know of minimizing or possibly avoiding my resentment is by letting go of the lion's share of responsibilities I had assumed. Doing that now is beginning to feel good for me! It is also part of my Design to learn by trial and error. I have eight years of many trials and errors form which I have learned so much about what I am designed to be. This knowledge is absolutely priceless! I have earned it well!

November 23rd -

Back pain has returned plus varicose veins have become painful in left leg.

"The leg veins relate in particular to a ball-and-chain conflict, experienced as a limitation of the freedom to move. ... feeling shackled to a place, a job, a project, or a relationship can provoke the conflict."[2]

I immediately relate to "feeling shackled to a place"!

I thought I had resolved my conflict with the burden of responsibilities that I had continued to carry - associated with my back pain; however - although I did make some shifts I am reasonably certain additional shifts are needed. I made actual physical shifts (and I believe they were in the right direction) however I had continued taking responsibility for the management and that apparently reactivated the conflict.




[3] Gene Keys By: Richard Rudd


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