Fasting can be a very powerful tool for healing the body, mind, and spirit.

Date:   4/27/2015 11:59:33 PM ( 9 y ago)

9am
Beginning with a late night update...
I went to the gym at 11pm. Yep I did. Went in the sauna, ran on the treadmill, got on ab machines for the first time, and finished off with the sauna. My back was so sore that I felt relief lying on the wood in the sauna. I think maybe I should back off the treadmill. But I enjoy it so much. Half of my time on it last night I had eyes closed while brisk walking. Just really felt connected with God. What a great time since virtually no one is at the gym at that time on a Sunday night. It is so peaceful. Got home 12:15 and it usually takes time to get cleaned up and unwind. But heck 1am I just could not keep my eyes opened and konked out.

I'm not one to remember too much of my dreams but I had a few strange ones. Within this past year my dreams seem to involve driving or being in a vehicle. The one thing that stood out the most was this beautiful tiny yellow bird. I love being in my backyard and watching birds. I know they can be signs. I've had some very interesting encounters or observations. I love nature but if they get close i tend to get a little freaked out. I really want the encounter but am afraid still. Anyway in this dream the bird interacts with me and buries itself in my hair and even comfortably hanging out my mouth. I know that's weird I don't even know how it got there. It just was there. Like I became this natural place for it to be in. I was so delighted by this experience. Only just a little bit later to find it had gotten squashed somehow. Don't know how it happened but just found it on the floor seeming to be lifeless.

9pm
Went to the gym and got some sauna time in and made it to yoga. So far the last several classes I've been in have been more on stretching/flexibility but today I struggled as the instructor made us go through lots of power poses. Skipped the treadmill today and perfectly fine with it. I was pretty pleased with how I ate today. interesting to note that I'd say 80-90% of the time I've eaten I've really tried to stay present. Boy between fasting and staying present, the taste of food just burst into symphony in my mouth. My first meal this afternoon was a mix of raw foods: spinach, basil, hemp seed, pea shoots and homemade garlic/dijon/mayo/ACV blend. Unsalted and yet very flavorful. For dinner pho broth followed by romaine, arugula, cucumber salad with caesar dressing. Interesting thing is that after making the salad, I realized it was automatic to make this amount. It wasn't big at all but after fasting I'm really having to adjust to about half of what I used to eat to satisfy my hunger.

Can you imagine how much we live our lives from the perspective of seeing from the past? Even looking at myself. My mind hasn't caught up with the body that I am inhabiting THIS VERY MOMENT. As the title of my other post "Letting go", it's amazing how much we hold on to our past views of ourselves and others. These beliefs keep us stuck and keep us from moving forward. We are all trying to change but when we continue to condemn ourselves (judgment is based on past learning/understanding) and others we create chains/obstacles that seem to become more powerful than the power that lies within us.

This afternoon I had a bit of a moment. I was changing and for the first time I saw myself. It was surreal. I surprised myself. I felt beautiful. I really appreciated what my body looked and felt like. Amazed that it could even be possible to have reached this point. At first, the visual experience had my attention but now it is so much more. It's been so long that it was strange to feel this moment. Not one of arrogance but of acceptance/appreciation. In retrospect, I don't think I've ever had a moment of acceptance or appreciation of my body.
With having kids your body goes through some pretty big changes. I think of all the struggles, frustration, exasperation, and just not being happy where my body was. I've been so hard on myself it's down right abusive. I see how unloving I was to myself. There's a way to facilitate change. One through love and encouragement and the other is the all too familiar road we seem to choose. I wasn't any different. But now I see. I don't want to fight myself. Our bodies are always shifting, changing, and I pray that God teach me how to be kind and loving to myself at whatever point my body is in this lifetime. Right now, I will marvel and appreciate how this body feels.
OOZING WITH GRATITUDE this very moment I am at peace with my body.







 

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