Since I temporarily broke my fast yesterday, I really made a shift. You will notice in my blog there's not as much mention on the physical experience as previously. Rightfully so after AHA moments yesterday.

Date:   4/9/2015 1:31:35 PM ( 9 y ago)

First of all. I think I better get the physical basics out of the way. Overall continue to feel pretty good. I'm still in ketosis based on urinalysis test strip results. The most obvious thing to note this morning is my face. I guess for some reason that was what stood out most when I woke up. At first glance the marked change of bone structure (cheeks, jaws) being more defined and eyes appearing larger or more prominent than usual, seemed to feel like it aged me. My lower back isn't as painful as a couple of days ago. I have my period so I'm sure that's affected things while on the fast. I've read things before that menstruation was another way the body cleanses itself and rids toxins. Pounds wise there hasn't been a change but my body fat percentage went down about 4%. I think my period, additional sodium from the broth, taking Himalayan sea salt has affected how much water my body is retaining. Joints feel pretty good. Energy is good. I can't remember if I mentioned yesterday I decided I will not give myself a fixed number as a goal for how long I will keep fasting. Really, I hit that initially when I first set it at 7 days. I'll go on intuition when I want to stop. So it is a surprise that I extend each day. It helps me stay present and not fixated on the end.

On to the spiritual stuff. I had quite an experience yesterday that I'd love to share. So I mentioned in my post about the lesson #77 on ACIM "I am entitled to miracles". And I believe yesterday I got that. This is gonna be a bit lengthy because it was a series of experiences (or miracles) that created this amazing day.

Yesterday morning I was already feeling a shift after having that AHA moment. Clarity. I went to the gym and hit the sauna as I usually do to get warm and loosen up before I hit the treadmill. Someone was in there already somewhat standing but leaning forward on the top level bench facing toward the wall. He was reading a book. I always bring my ACIM book. After a couple minutes he turns around and greets me and we both muse about enjoying a book in the sauna. He asked me what I was reading. It's always a challenge to explain to people about ACIM. I did the best I could in several sentences. Immediately he says it sounds like Scientology. Which of course is far from anything of what ACIM. So the religion discussion opens up. I don't know how many times that's happened in the sauna with myself or listening to others, when it always tends to get heated up a bit. This guy turns out to be super passionate about God and the bible. He started quoting the bible and almost as if by cue ramblings of his opinion. Other people entered the sauna and you can see how people were getting irritated or at least uncomfortable with the discussion. I have to state that I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school and later got very involved with Christian Church for several years. So the bible is a big part of my life and who I am. ACIM is centered on Jesus Christ but a big difference is it's teachings are non-dualistic versus most religions are dualistic. Anyway, as this gentleman spoke I asked the holy spirit to guide me at this time in understanding him as well as what I needed to convey. I think others might have interpreted his tone of voice and demeanor as argumentative (as most people get when discussing religion). I sat there feeling his heart so conflicted. He said he thought he knew everything. He thought his marriage of 32 years was fine and found out it wasn't. All this time he had been teaching about his belief and only to realize how messed up things got in his life. He seemed lost. I was surprised how at peace I was. I stayed present and aware instead of getting hijacked by my ego. I stayed quiet most of the time (that's not typical when it comes to these discussions) and asked questions instead of trying to drive my point across. In the end, I told him I would pray for him. Silently I also prayed for those who entered and left the sauna. I was eventually by myself. Of all the years it feels like I've been trying to grow spiritually and be more like Christ, looking at this experience helped me to see that I have changed. Forgiving and loving others is starting to come more naturally rather than having to convince myself to do it.

I got on the treadmill. At certain times in my life a particular song gets stuck. Recently, an oldie but a goodie U2 - Where The Streets Have No Name got stuck on me when I played it running on the beach last year. I love the guitar riff/intro which slowly amps up and then...

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I wanna reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel, sunlight on my face
I see that dust cloud disappear without a trace
I wanna take shelter from the poison rain

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name

We're still building
Then burning down love, burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do

=============================

I got that song on a loop. I was brisk walking and feeling very present. I felt elevated. When I started to run 5.2 mph the lyrics captivated me even more. I felt every note and every words deep to the core. "I wanna run...I wanna tear down the walls that hold me inside. I wanna reach out and touch the flame..." I got so high that all the bodies around me became obscured and it felt as if time stood still. Awareness of my body was suspended. I felt no pain, no effort, just an overwhelming burst joyful energy. I was literally running with this huge ridiculous smile on my face. What an amazing high that was.

I went to an empty room where classes are usually held so I could stretch out. Here's the thing, I have recently come to this strange experience over the past year about signs and symbols from God/Angels/Spirit. It goes against my natural understanding about these things but "miracles" happened that allowed me to connect the dots to see that signs and symbols appear for me from the Divine. Most obvious are numbers (repeating), songs, books, posts, messages, e-mails that seem appear and connect to a moment as if an affirmation or voice of support. I lay on the mat ready to stretch I look at my phone and my screen showed the cover of U2 album, time 2:22, battery charge: 22% Weather 66F and pedometer 777.
22222 66 777. I took a screen shot. Initially amazed and then I started to be overcome with emotion. So many times one can feel alone and abandoned but at that moment I felt the Divine presence. As though my Father in Heaven gave me a big hug and told me I am here always. You are on the right path.

I got in my vehicle and the song playing struck me. Perfect timing and the parts of the lyrics that played just tied into what I experienced. I knew Divine was speaking to me. Here are the lyrics.

"Am I wrong
For thinking out the box from where I stay?
Am I wrong
For saying that I choose another way?
I ain't trying to do what everybody else doin'
Just 'cause everybody doin' what they all do
If one thing I know, I'll fall but I'll grow
I'm walking down this road of mine, this road that I call home

So am I wrong?
For thinking that we could be something for real?
Now am I wrong?
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?
But that's just how I feel,
That's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see (see, see, see)

Am I tripping
For having a vision?
My prediction
I'ma be on the top of the world
Walk your walk and don't look back,
Always do what you decide
Don't let them control your life, that's just how I feel oh whoa
Fight for yours and don't let go,
Don't let them compare you, no
Don't worry, you're not alone, that's just how we feel

Am I wrong? (am I wrong?)
For thinking that we could be something for real?
(Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, oh)
Now am I wrong? (am I wrong?)
For trying to reach the things that I can't see?
(Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah)
That's just how I feel,
But that's just how I feel
That's just how I feel
Trying to reach the things that I can't see (see, see, see)

If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right, right
If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right
If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right, right
If you tell me I'm wrong, wrong
I don't wanna be right..."

======================================

The next songs played in order were

Holiday - Madonna
We are the Champions - Queen

I felt Divine saying it's time to celebrate. You have done well.

Anyway, these may sound like crazy ramblings and then for some it may resonate loudly. I just want to share how walking with Christ brings greater joy beyond what the world can give.
Grateful to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who has been with me all this time.

This was such a long post. Though I like to reread and edit to make it more cohesive or sensible, I will leave this as is with errors of syntax/grammar/omission, etc.

Ohhh One more thing to add...

Last night I had a dream that that I was lying down and felt an energy fill me and surround me. A golden light that started to lift me up toward being upright. In my heart I felt it was Jesus. Then as quickly as it began, it stopped and skipped to another part of a dream. Interestingly, after that wonderful feeling of His presence. I experienced fear. Fear of a darker or bad presence possibly reaching my children. I had this need to go run to them and protect them.

I was quite confused with the conflicting meanings of my dream. But eventually I think, it is revealing an unconscious limiting belief that needs to be dealt with. The one message that was conditioned in me was that when you were a disciple of Christ or working for God that puts a bulls eye on you for Satan because you are his enemy and does not want you to do good for God. Well, I prayed to God to purify this limiting belief and be freed of it. Anyway I thought that dream was pretty important. I don't recall having any dream like that ever. I think I may have dreamt of Jesus one other time in form earlier this year.
Well that's all.

To all who read: I pray that you may know the Truth about God's love for you and be blessed to know the joyful wonders that a rightfully yours as the Child of God.






 

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