Ohhh Myyy

Date:   6/5/2014 10:01:01 AM ( 10 y ago)

136.2lbs 31.4% body fat.

So yesterday went pretty smoothly for day 1. I felt very tired by 9:30pm which is not typical at all. I woke up at 2am thinking I had slept way longer than that. Got up to use the bathroom and have more water. My mind was busy even though my body felt tired and achy. My neck, shoulder, center of my chest, inner knees, back and calves felt sore. I basically felt like I had a big serious workout at the gym. My mind was just so awake. It was a bit of a challenge to fall asleep again but the physical fatigue helped. I woke up at 5am to go to the bathroom and drink water again. This time it was easier to fall back to sleep. Finally got up at 7:05 to get my kids to school. It has been a struggle since I woke up. It's almost 8am and I still feel pretty crappy. I'm not surprised for Day 2. I am so ready to go back to sleep. I am going to lay back in bed and meditate/pray and hope to fall back asleep.

10am
Got a little nap in. Feeling just as tired though. I'm starting to have food cravings. I have this strange itchiness that I experience with fasting. I mentioned in my previous blog I think it is liver related. Cholestasis (In medicine, cholestasis is a condition where bile cannot flow from the liver to the duodenum. The two basic distinctions are an obstructive type of cholestasis where there is a mechanical blockage in the duct system such as can occur from a gallstone or malignancy, and metabolic types of cholestasis which are disturbances in bile formation that can occur because of genetic defects or acquired as a side effect of many medications.) Well, I used to get those symptoms of itchiness of hands most obviously with my pregnancies since that was the time it was intense. I would get that occasionally in milder form when not pregnant but just connected it to food allergies/sensitivities since I have quite a bit of that. But I am not pregnant and am not eating so what gives? I think maybe I will do a liver flush shortly after this fast. I've done it a couple of times before.

1pm
Thoughts of doubt creeping in. Why am I doing this? I can't make this all go away if I just stop this and eat already. Ughhh. But that voice is all too familiar and learned some tactics to deal with it. Sip more water. Sleep/rest. Read. Pray/Meditate. Getting busy and distracting yourself is a good one. Ohh I need to get some seltzer water. That helps a lot. I think I am gonna go get some before that negative voice in my head gets too loud. I am feeling better so I think it is my signal to use my energy to be busy.

8:20pm
So I walked on the treadmill around 3pm at a brisk 3.5 mph for just 20 minutes. I was hoping that increased circulation would help me feel better. I also went for another walk of 50 minutes at 7pm but at a more relaxed pace.

The mind games are on. Feeling strong resistance to fasting. I am creating this tension/conflict within myself. Now that I've brought awareness to it I'm taking deep breaths and trying to release and let it go. I have been focusing on feeling deprived and emphasizing on negativity. I need to turn this around and remind myself why I want to do this. I WANT TO DO THIS! Instead of why the heck am I doing this to myself and having a pity party. Gonna meditate/pray and maybe just fall asleep so this will pass.

Overall I felt okay majority of the afternoon but maybe all the walking is getting to me. My legs feel sore/crampy. I think I need to take an empsom salt bath.


 

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