I usually feel more ready but I am unsure this time

Date:   6/4/2014 4:06:33 PM ( 10 y ago)

I'm feeling a bit reluctant to start. Usually I don't want to get started until I'm pretty sure I feel ready. It's just that I saw my schedule looking clear for at least 10 days. That gives me 4-6 days water fasting and some time as well for refeeding. Last night at dinner we got invited to go to this ranch this Fri-Saturday. My husband is really keen on the idea and wants to take our family there. I want to be supportive of his decision so we are evidently going. This wasn't how I had planned the water fast to unfold but that's life. I'm not sure if that was a sign that I should postpone my water fast or just go with it anyway. So I started meditating/praying and using this day to make that decision. It's 2pm and have just had water. I will continue to listen to my body and spirit and see how this day goes. If things go smoothly I'm taking that as a sign to press on with it.

9:30pm
Pheewww. It's still on!

Most of the day went pretty smooth despite all the cooking I've had to do. I even served my homemade pie in the afternoon and the evening. I seriously almost threw in the towel thinking I got a sign to just quit this. My husband got cranky with me and I was all out of patience to deal with it. I guess it was a long day with the kids and when you are fasting, oh yeah you can get pretty bitchy. I had almost no tolerance to his mood and snapped. Ayayayay. Well, I found out his day at work was crazy and stressful. On top of that, he had to leave work to meet at his parents house due to siblings calling an emergency meeting. Anyway, after that bump with my hubby I just thought screw this that is the sign I need to eat so I can feel better. Well, I just didn't want to go out that way. Eating because I was upset. I prayed and processed it all without food. Hey, I feel pretty good about that.

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty tired. My stomach feels so empty but just keep sipping away. I want to just sleep and call it a day. My muscles feel achey. I feel like I have an inflammation flare up with hands and knees. My neck feels sore. i am hoping I sleep well through the night.

 

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