Mother's Day - A family feast

Date:   5/12/2014 2:40:53 PM ( 10 y ago)

5am
133.8lb 32.8%BF
Interesting readings after eating last night

8:26am
Tummy feels so bloated and I need to have a BM. If you are squeemish about BM discussions then here is a chance for you to get out. It's pretty mild with info but I wanted to warn you folks nevertheless.
Did a Himalayan sea salt water (ionic solution) enema and then coffee enema. Both pushed out some little boulders.
I use a stethoscope and listen to my liver when I do a coffee enema to listen out for sounds when bile is released. I hoping I would hear it but nothing even though I retained it for about 22 minutes.

I am contemplating that I had lots of fats last night so maybe reason why my tummy hurt a bit after the dinner. If you think about it I probably had 2 servings of pumpkin seeds last night or even more. That's 30g fat for 2 servings. Then I had the chicken tortilla soup and the salad with olive oil drizzled. I think that was a good deal of bile released. I could be really freaked out over the one pound gain but I am strangely calm. I like that I tested my ketone levels and I was at moderate or large levels still and pH more alkaline. I guess between the green juice and salad it's got my body alkaline even if I am in ketosis. That's good since most tend to be acidic.

On the spiritual side. It is mother's day and usually a day of mixed feelings. Joy and yet when I think of my own mother ...feeling more ambivalent. Well, I had great great quiet time this morning. First about my body. I recognized fear starting to creep in since food has been introduced. Like food that requires chewing. Last night watching tv late I continued to munch on those pepitas. I started thinking I was going back to my old patterns. I also picked up a left over healthy honey oat granola bar Luke didn't eat. I had it on my side table and nibbled a few peices. I felt fear creeping in like uh oh is this the beginning? Well, I didn't eat all of it. But to think of it...I was pretty mindful about it and I stopped. This morning I started feeling concerned about eating today and at the party. Fears started to build up. Then I remembered I am losing my mindfulness and presence. I am fearing the future. I should be enjoying where I am right now. Being happy of having succeeded and come to this point that I have been previously so eager to get to. Now I am here I am not joyful to be at the destination. So I turned it around and focus on how great it feels right now.

Grilled veggies: zucchini, celery, garlic, onions with olive oil and salt/pepper.
Made chia seeds with 1-1/2cups vanilla coconut milk first with 1/4 cup but after half an hour it was still soupy. I added later another 1/4c chia seeds.

Went to the party fully prepped with grilled veggies and protein milks, water, and chia seed coconut dessert.

Well, it started with eating all the grilled veggies. It was soooo yummy. I just wish I ate it more mindfully. so many things going on around me and I was walking and eating. I thought for awhile I'm good . I was absolutely full but soooo much food around me. I really wanted to try the caramel tres leches from Costco we bought. I tried maybe three picks that equals probably 1 tablespoon. Everyone around me continues to graze on all foods. About an hour or more later I decided to eat my chia seed dessert so I wouldn't be tempted to eat the other desserts. It was pretty good tasting even if I didn't sweeten it. Then I got several good bites of fried tilapia. I cannot believe I have eaten this much. Then top this off....I had a strong craving for coffee with creamer. I kicked the caffeine habit ages ago and haven't had any strong urges for it. But interesting to have it now. Although if I had to satisfy the urge I would typically use natural decaf organic coffee and organic creamer but they had the vanilla flavored low carb kind with regular starbux. I couldn't believe how good it tasted. I drank probably 1/4 to 1/2 a cup. It was like having dessert. Well, at least it satisfied me so much that I had no trouble resisting the real dessert stuff.

Well, after the part we got home around 5pm. I couldn't believe how full I felt. I think by normal standards the quantity and type of food I had was real good. However, 2 days after the water fast, I felt like I over did it. So guilt was definitely there. The big issue for me was that I was trying to follow the Paleo diet without being fully informed. I thought I knew the basics. I saw the websites and they use Chia seeds where I got the recipe there. I didn't check the nutritional info on it. It was after I already ate the stuff that I looked it up to calculate the carbs. Holy cow I went way overboard. I used 1/2 a cup and that totals to 48 g carbs. OMG I freaked. I felt like I mad such a big mistake. I was shooting to go 20-30 g carbs and that mess up put me over 100g. I felt awful. I ended up eating 2 small squares of organic chocolate adding 10g more carbs to it. I decide to go for about a 45 minute walk to offset the damage. It was after the walk I realized the Paleo diet looks at net carbs. That means total carbs-the fiber which significantly reduced the carbs for chia seeds from 12g to 2g. OMG!!! I will be fine.
I then thought about how freaking insane it is that food can affect me like this so much.

I went to bed feeling emotionally relieved but physically I wasn't feeling all that great. My neck was tight and sore. And overall body didn't feel as great as I was feeling before. I am aware from what I've read out there that after the fasting, the old stuff from your colon has been mobilized and loosened up which is then easier to dislodge when food passes through during digestion. So all those toxins are agitated and circulate and end up reabsorbing some.

Enough thinking. I really feel like I have been less mindful and preoccupied with way too much thinking. I have lost my joy and peace. It's a good sign to pray and go to bed.

 

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