Horrible nightmare

Date:   4/25/2014 8:11:13 AM ( 10 y ago)

Heart pumping terrifying dream

5:55 AM Friday, April 25, 2014

I just woke up from the most terrifying dream. The co-owners of the house send and Brian were in it.

My kidneys are hurting from the dream.

There was a renovation "" crew and some kind of neighborhood club, ladies club, inside the house on bringing the property into some kind of standard to fit into the neighborhood.

Sanda who's normally quite vociferous and Brian were toss out and would not be forthcoming with information about who had their way with them.

Plywood was being nailed up to block the view of the backyard and cut off the light.

Landscape crews were cutting down and Norman slims of trees in the backyard,

We met members of the ladies club who were chitchatting among themselves were all through the interior of the house.

I was not informed about this "renovation" work. I kept attempting to get information from Sanda and Brian especially Sands.

She was not talking it was as if she was threatened by something so enormous that she agreed to the renovation.

Everything was happening against my will.

All the furniture was the most part taken out of my room.

All this renovation started while I was out of the house and then came home

I went into my room and could hardly recognize it.

There was a chair and gray chili I could find my fanny pack with my iPhone and it and nearby I could find my camera.

I normally document things like this and wanted to take pictures..

I woke up terrified.

What could have precipitated such horrifying dream?

Yesterday I had a reading from Lorayne. It was reading where my father Solomon was giving suggests was giving her visions that he wanted to communicate to me.

Some of the visions were very relevant to things in my life.

He was very concerned about some items in the pocket of his black pants that went with his black suit. He was wanting to kiss me in the dream and shower me with affection and energy.

He wanted to make up to me. He wanted to redeem our relationship.

There were a couple scenes where I was a little boy and table and there was challah on the table.

The dream reminded me of the clearing of my father's apartment numbers of years before he went into the assisted care facility.

Eva was in charge of the renovation I came in for a week to help. I got into bed fighting with my father one point. It was a standoff and yelling match

He was dumping emotion and venom on me. I was making changes and we were making changes.

The dream may relate to changes I was making on a private website yesterday..

I may not have had permission for all the changes I made. I felt that they were good improvements.

I didn't get the positive feedback I wanted for the changes I made. I may not get it today.

I was attempting to make some improvements to the private website. I was told have to many hours of work that my enthusiasm was appreciated that and doing all that work I was interfering in other people's initiative to participate.

That feedback maybe feel like what I had done was not welcomed. I'm confused if it really was. One of the leaders said he appreciated when I did.

Put all that energy into the website because I didn't know what to do with myself yesterday.

I also made requests eva, my niece, that were way beyond what she was capable of handling at this time. She wanted me to do the work instead. I did not feel capable of doing it

I'm in a nowhere land. I feel I need positive strokes for the work I did yesterday and feedback.

I missed birthday last Tuesday at San Diego State. It wasn't even on my radar. I was with eva. She came over. My attention was on her. That was a day to be on San Diego State campus. It might've had long-range consequences to getting a new housemate.

My ear and health was not feeling that well today. I was keeping my distance both Genieva and my partner.

What do I do with my life today?

Who do I call?

My life has been absorbed and directed into fears of the house for months.

I have very little energy what I might be doing with the parts of my work that I enjoy.

I have no clear vision and direction. I could read do the house sad for another round of meeting new people.

My relationship with the Passover Village, that was so special last weekend. Seems to never never land.

I don't have energy to clear my space this morning. I missed my connection this year with the students who might help set house.

I'm out of community.

April 25, 2014 6:35 AM



 

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