Solutions for My Personal Depression by YourEnchantedGardener .....
Solutions for My Personal Depression
Date: 3/26/2014 7:43:14 AM ( 10 y ago)
Solutions for Depression
[I spoke this into this blog with my iPhone…there may be some
corrections i have to make later. ]
Earty morning thoughts, March 26, 2014
5:43 am
what's going on?
I started to look at solutions to the depression I have been feeling for weeks. I feel sad and I have had this depression. It has been caused by events and experiences at the house. I still have coughing going on. It was named bronchitis over we could go at Pacific College. Getting a new housemate is always an intense emotional experience for me.
I believe I got a good new housemate yesterday. This followed my most recent episode of investing precious valuable life force into another youth..
She was interested in living here because there is the foundation of community at home here. When it came down to the final interaction this young lady said she would be back a few hours later to give a check. She never came back. She sent an email instead. This was extremely triggering for me deep internal issues from my past regarding being let down.
.
My counselor Judith Larkin Reno was addressing some of this internal experience the other day..
She was speaking about not being a victim my age. She was speaking about the intense suffering that I go through. Much of this
This letdown goes all the way back to my childhood experience when I did not receive the support I needed from my parents. It causes the need for a lot of reparenting.
Context for much of the suffering I do is having too much weight on my shoulders and responsibilities. I need to outgrow the way I am handling numbers of the relationships at home that victimize me.
I'm looking at solutions in this plan in the dream blog. I'm setting an intention to outgrow can express what needs to shift now.
Separating the community assets account from from the rent.
There is so much that each person pays in to cover the utilities water and some of the supplies..
I want to evaluate how much each person is paying in. I have been stressing about the extreme utility bills but do not cover The amounts collected from each person.
There's much more to write about the problems I'm facing it home. I also need to get into the solutions.
Also addressed a trade I have that I could no longer live with.
I will also address one rent increase that is basic
I need to address and turnover the evaluation of how much utilities we are using up from old outdated appliances, so I'm not need to replace be replaced.
The experience of people attempting to live together in community deserves support. It is also extremely costly investment of my life energy that needs to be healthier.
I went to sleep after dictating this above.
Then, I woke up with bodily sensations later of physical depression.
It was shocking. It happened twice.
I DECIDED TO STAY IN BED UNTIL MY HEAD WAS FEELING MORE COMPETENT TO WORK WITH SOMETHING POSITIVE
THE ISSUE OF UTILITIES
I did get a call back from Adiana…of the Medical Baseline. I am having deep feelings of being let down. One of the promised sponsors did not follow through from the Natural Product Expo.
It was good to get this call back from Adriana.
I was going to back myself up by asking Dr. Butcher, a friend, to fill out the medical baseline discount for more electrical.
I want to find that.
I also got a call back from Dr. Butcher's secretary, but we were disconnected. I as asking for directions.
I want to call back. Check in time is 10:45 am.
I should call Dan Bressler…have my records switched…I feel very incapable.
Part of this is the state of my lungs. It is now emotional….There is a heart pain…
DIRECTIONS TO DR. RICHARD O. BUTCHER
APPOINTMENT 11:15 am, MARCH 27
THURSDAY--CHECK IN TIME IS 10:45 am.
5.6 mi, 10 min driving
12 min with traffic
view route based on traffic
A
Turn right onto College Ave
2.0 mi
Take ramp right and follow signs for CA-94 West
2.5 mi
At exit 4, take ramp right and follow signs for Euclid Ave
0.2 mi
Turn left onto Euclid Ave
0.8 mi
Arrive at 292 Euclid Ave Suite 210, San Diego, CA 92114 on the right
The last intersection is Groveland Dr
If you reach Castana St, you've gone too far
B
292 Euclid Ave Suite 210, San Diego, CA 92114
12:07 pm
March 27, 2014
What is coming up?
The things that Judith said the other day.
She spoke about not being a victim to my circumstances.
I feel I am in a dependent relationship with the people who live here.
I am dependent on them for the survival of the house because of the need to pay the mortgage.
She spoke about my entitlement and healthy boundaries.
The emotions are getting the best of me.
CONDITION OF THE UTIlITIES
How to read the usage.
HOW TO READ IT ONLINE
switched Safari Cookies to Never under Privacy so I can read it.
Switch the SDG & E Password…did this…
Reviewed how to read the meter…readings…
To read the energy use, I have to switch Safari under Private….
(I am attempting to feel some ability to deal with what I have to deal with)
LOOK AT COMMUNITY ASSETS ACCOUNT
1:05 pm
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