uuuummmmmmmmmm I don't think he is the one.....

Date:   3/4/2014 5:13:46 PM ( 10 y ago)

Ok so you know the guy that i was talking to just as friends??? So the two of us got a little serious. We said that we would be boyfriend and girlfriend. Things were getting really heavy. He said he didn't want to date anyone else. He said he wanted to marry me. I was on cloud nine. Remember, I have known him for 10 years. I was gone in the brain over him. One day we were talking about our lives and he tells me that ever since he was 10 he has had thoughts about what if he is homosexual. I was like what??? I was like I think everyone at some point has wondered about homosexuality and how they feel about it. I was like ok. I listened but I kind of brushed it off and was like well thats some thing that we all go through...some people just take a longer time to make a decision than others. So like two days after this I receive a text where in he says that he wants to be single until he can figure out this orientation thing. I was like ok. I was hurt cause I thought that this was going somewhere but then I was like Im glad that he told me before it did go somewhere. Now we are just friends which I think is good for us. He hasa friend that is homosexual and he is going to ask that friend to set him up on a date with a dude so that he can make up his mind. I was like even if he does make up his mind that he is straight, do I really want a dude that is even remotely attracted to dudes??? The answer is a resounding no. If I were to get with him knowing that he was attracted to dudes in the slightest it would always be in the back of my mind that he might leave me for a dude. That would hurt me. I cant compete with a dude. Im not a dude. Hmmmmm...I think that I can grow from this...I need to guard my heart and I need to slow down...in love I get so carried away...I love with everything I have. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find someone that loves me as intensely as I love them or more.

 

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