disengaged and….how to reingage? by YourEnchantedGardener .....
disengaged and….how to reingage? Through in the towel this morning, and working to get back into life. Can I find the courage to plant again today?
Date: 1/25/2014 11:33:12 AM ( 10 y ago)
disengaged and….how to reingage?
9:25 am; January 25,2014
I feel like my internal inside myself internet connection between worlds is broken.
Strange morning.
Woke up with body shocks --sensations coming up from inside that are the result of fear taken in and other uncomfortable sensations I have not fully processed, but suppressed.
I thought maybe I would plant seeds today but i am not sure I have what it takes to plant something.
I have planted many things and I do not like the results. I have made a scary world.
I am not sure I have what it takes in this moment to keep creating or the energy to follow up.
(I am dealing with two full time jobs or more, and the house is making me feel I can engage in the work that makes me feel alive and brings me reward.
I would like the house too to bring me reward, but this is going to be a long haul. 11:19 am)
I got off track last night.
9:33 am
january 25, 2014
All I am is mind in this moment
right now. I don't believe in the world.
I called Lurrae to see if she is real.
I interacted with her over the phone.
She engaged, and told me about something called Bodytalk in Sarasota. where she is now, I called not fully believing she was real, or the world was real, or just a mind memory,
Is it ok if i do not come back?
It is such hard work here, here in this world.
WHAT I WAS DOING LAST NIGHT
I had a list of things I was doing last night, originals of images to find but i left my post in the middle of a mystical experience of rain drops that showed up and got me and my mate excited.
Three or four things happened yesterday that I recorded or had recorded. I believe the things I was doing made the rain show up.
The rain was an affirmation of the four things.
I wonder if anyone else had rain drops or noticed?
I was in the middle of writing about this mystical creation: The rain, and then, we left three of us to a party in another place that left me at the end of the evening with uncomfortable sensations to process, boy-girl things
I do not want to lock in cement till I find out the facts.
Not sure I want to reengage yet…
not sure i am willing to get out of bed or seed more.
I am typing on the laptop….
I am just fingers tapping keys into the internet.
9:48 am
ABOUT THE RAIN
I was working on this when i left my post.
http://plantyourdream.net/?p=18140
JOHN COLEMAN KUSI WEATHER DISCUSSION HELPED ME REINGAGE IN LIFE THIS MORNING
I just went looking for a confirmation that I was not the only one in San Diego who noticed the rain. I found the John Coleman KUSI Weather Discussion. This is lifting my my spirit. I want to send him a photo asap.
http://www.kusi.com/story/13240325/john-coleman-weather-discussion#.UuP7fo3mWuI.facebook
10:56 am
JOHN, IS THIS A SPRINKLE OR A DRIZZLE?
John says that a sprinkle is defined as raindrops six inches apart. This look like closer than six inches. Did we have a drizzle?
John, is this a sprikle or a drizzle, Your Enchanted Gardener Leslie Goldman, asks, about the January 24, rain drops recorded on our kitchen porch?
11:15 am
FINDING THE COURAGE TO PLANT AGAIN
Can I find the courage the plant again?
11:15 am
CELEBRATING RAIN DROPS, AND PLANTING SEEDS TO BRING RAIN
I have a commitment that when it rains, I will gather it.
I know that when I plant seeds, it often rains.
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