1/14/14: Failure, but it doesn't mean I'm giving up! by Sacristia .....

My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.

Date:   1/16/2014 3:23:12 PM ( 10 y ago)

January 14, 2014

“I often stood in front of the mirror alone, wondering how ugly a person could get.” ~ Charles Bukowski, Ham on Rye

I failed. I hate to say that I have failed. I crumbled around 10:30 p.m. Last night after I had been talking to a long friend, B. W. on the phone. Maybe it was because I was feeling good about myself. Maybe it was because I wanted to comfort myself. Maybe, just maybe is because I was hungry and lost my will power. I didn't eat much. I had about a cup of steamed veggies and a whole pint of black raspberries. I nibbled on some deli ribs, as I really wanted some meat, but those didn't settle on my stomach very well. The blackberries were delicious!!

Sigh, so I start again.

Things have changed as well. J, N.'s girlfriend asked me last night if I was going to come up on the 18th. I told her that I could. I had planned on it, but if D. wants to see him, I am all for it. I asked her a barbed question just to see how she saw things. I asked her if D. missed me at all. She said that she believed so, as he has talked about me several times, when he has been around the last couple weeks. It made me feel good to hear that but it made me a little jealous that she gets to see him and I don't. I know that he comes over with his brother, and his daughter, so that J.'s daughter and his daughter can play since they are close in age. I guess J. hasn't seen N. much since January 4th, when I was there last.

Well, water fasting might be an issue for me, as if I am up there on the 18th, I don't want to smell like acetone, as if I follow as I am suppose to, I should be on my 4th day on Friday and the 5th day on Saturday. Plus J. might have me stay the night, which would making things look really odd if I don't eat at all when I am there for two days. So, this is the plan. I will not fast until I am back home either on the Sunday, January19th, or January 20th. I think this is the best, as I am able to continue to eat healthy and not mess up my metabolism, but only fasting for 4 days and then eating and then fasting again.

I have been very lazy lately regarding just somethings. But here are my daily goals for the day.


DAILY GOALS

The Things that I accomplished already today are:

January 14, 2014

√ Fed my cats and loved on them
√ Made my bed
√ Write Morning pages (Journal 2 pages)
√ Read a Little
√ Balance check book
√ Empty receipts out of wallet
√ Work out Budget list in notebook
√ Check train tickets for youngest sister's wedding in May
√ Take out trash


The Things I want to accomplish to night:

January 14, 2014

Knit a little
Read a little (more)
Read the Bible
Water plants
Pick out/organize garden seeds
Pick out clothing for the weekend
Wash clothes
Pick up clothes



WEEKLY GOAL FOR JANUARY 12th -JANUARY 18th, 2014

WORK ON BUDGET: I have to say that I am really enjoying keeping my budget and check book up today. It is really nice to be able to see exactly were all my money is going once again.

WRITE IN JOURNAL 7 TIMES: I wrote 2 pages in my journal. I really try to write 3 whole pages, but 2 pages is better than nothing at all.

FINISH A BOOK: I have already finished this once this week, but I am working on finishing another book this week as well.

CROCHET 5 TIMES: NOPE. I haven't worked on this goal at all.

READ BIBLE 7 TIMES: NOPE. I haven't even tried to work on this goal. I know it is sad.

SAVE $20.00 IN SAVINGS: This is budgeted to come out of my paycheck on Friday. I really excited about this.

ROUGH OUT STEAMPUNK COSTUME IDEA: I have a couple cool ideas. I might make my own goggles. I have an idea to use a couple leather belts as well. It is a work in progress.

START WATER FAST: I have decided to forgo fasting on this date, January 14, 2014 in order to enjoy myself a little more, get some healthy food in me, as well as I have plans with weekend, so it would mess up my water fast plans. I think also this will give me time to get in the right frame of mind in order to start my water fast. Maybe I can start reading my Bible again as well, as a thing I can prepare for.


MY FOOD LOG FOR: January 14, 2014

BREAKFAST: NONE

DRINK: WATER

SNACK: NONE

DRINK: WATER

LUNCH: (around 12:30 p.m.) Subway12 inch Chicken Bacon Ranch sub with provolone cheese with spinach, green peppers, onions, black olives, yellow banana peppers, a little bit of ranch and mayo.

SNACK: NONE

DINNER: Two Pork Barbecue ribs (left over from the other night)

SNACK: A cup of blueberries



DAILY MORALE: Determined

POSITIVE THING: Mekong was squeaking in happiness when I came home from work late.

EXERICISE: 30 jumping jacks, 20 squats, walking, 2.37 Miles

WATER INTAKE: Approximately 24 ounces

WEIGHT: 150 pounds


INITIAL STARTING WEIGHT: 150 pounds (1/14/14)






 

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