19 Day Dips and Decisions

Date:   11/18/2013 10:18:43 PM ( 11 y ago)

19 Days today, it's about 3pm.. been a little difficult the last few days - still feel like having some soup, don't really want to break the fast though so I've just been abstaining and continuing on. I think fast boredom has set in the last few days - I am thinking I should interrupt this with some long walks, trips to the gym (something I've been wanting to start up and now feeling fit enough to do) - just getting active to avoid the boredom slump. There can be points in a fast where you feel like you hit a wall or begin to stagnate emotionally/energetically - I am feeling a bit of this, too much time in the house, not enough outside. Perhaps it the mind, undistracted and comforted by food and flavor simply becoming restless.. I could on one hand, give in and have some soup - something I've often done around the 2 week mark and then continued on with a fast - I don't really want to disrupt the fast yet though - I'd like to push on and past this and see if it's just a sort of wall coming up or distraction that once surpassed lets out onto a new level of the fast I've embarked on. Don't really expect anything other than to carry on and deepen the fast, shed more weight and just keep it up without hesitating. I do feel a kind hunger - it's not true hunger, I'm sure that's months away - something I very much doubt I'll ever experience considering how much body fat I'd have to lose to ever get there (not really my goal to ever get that low) -- I'm bored with my juices, kinda bored with a lot of the drink choices I have.. had a swig of pickle juice and that was really nice - just the spicy savory taste - same thing I'm craving in soup.. something more savory, a flavor more like that of a meal.. it's all just craving though isn't it & has nothing to do with my goal or the benefits of continuing on. It's been a bit busy and distracting the last few days with long days out, a big AGM meeting of a foundation I fundraise for last night, friend over after that and this morning, builders next door making lots of racket... just a bit off my schedule of having my mornings to myself - no practice or yoga yesterday or today, blah blah... and tomorrow have to do a sausage sizzle fundraiser which I'm glad I can help out with but not so in the mood for at present -- still, tomorrow is day 20 and I'm hanging in there... don't want to get too low and give in to the craving... if I do, best to remember to just be flexible about it and carry on afterwards, rather not though -- feel that stress point lurking closeby where if my energies or mood drop too low I'll potentially go there... just out of that desire for comfort... it's pretty silly to give in though, it's not as if I'm really in any discomfort... it's all been a very easy, good clear fast so far. Perhaps this is stuff coming up - emotional clearing as well - it's subtle but present - take it as a good sign that the fast is deepening. Haven't done a coffee enema in a while - I think I need to get back in my zone and go back to my quiet, practice, some more enema's - some afternoon reading in the sun, walking - and just go inward again and head in the other direction from all this last few days outward activity. That may also be a big cause of all this distraction I feel - pulled by too many energies, etc. I'm sure there is another direction I can go here - have to get through tomorrow first though - think I'll end this here and go on a bit of a walk to clear my head and re-think a bit of where I've been with it.
I'd really like to get to day 40 or 60 this fast and feel I can as long as I don't give into feelings of negativity.
Bit more tomorrow
See you all then
Swastiastu

 

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