bad day yesterday, but today is a new day

Date:   6/20/2013 2:12:25 AM ( 11 y ago)

Today is a new day, thank goodness, as yesterday was spent in pain, fear, and tears. A deep dark depression fell over me and I really felt like there was no point in going on any longer. I wanted to just give up and quit living ...but that's not an option and I knew I just needed sleep, so I went to bed around 6 p.m.
My arm is still swollen and sore, but the wound itself looks better...and my attitude is better, which puts a brighter light on everything. My husband curled up in bed with me and he just held me..meant a lot to me, his care in my bleak hours of yesterday. We have only been married since February 4th, and physically together since January 20th 2012..we met on Facebook on December 8th or so 2011..he was in Tennessee, and I in the Midwest ..not your typical dating, I know, but he is a good man, and I know he loves me dearly. My illness has taken a toll on him I know, I have told him that he didn't sign up for all of this, that he could go without guilt, I love him enough to do this for him, but he refuses to end our marriage because of my illness. If roles were reversed I would not leave either as I am a very loyal and faithful friend ..."till death do us part" and all of our other vows I take very seriously. I am his first marriage and he is my third..I divorced the first for an affair he had with the same woman twice, and my second passed away 4 years ago on my now husband's birthday ...(weird hunh? lol) I had told myself I would never marry again after husband number 2...and was celibate for a couple years until I met my hubby now. I refused to give up little pieces of my soul to men, preferring to keep faithful to myself ..I just shut that little part of my brain off. I can appreciate a man's good looks without lusting after him. I believe sex is more than physical and I have my own set of standards I guess lol

 

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