Day 16, deeper into the fast, writing on inner stability

Date:   11/2/2012 4:50:26 AM ( 12 y ago)

Well it's 16 days in now, motoring along nicely - I've been a busy girl and have wanted to make an entry for a few days - Seems like all sorts of things conspire to make us busy some weeks - so I didn't make it here until now.

The fast is going well - still feels like early days, from memory I usually break down around the 2 week mark and have some kind of meal or two before continuing on - Have not had such a strong urge this time - it is there, not a hunger perhaps... maybe it is a sort of hunger, not really one based in the stomach as that is totally switched off and happy - That time of the month has come around, I always find fasting slows that right down or makes it very light - in the past I've eaten something and that's triggered it - again, the thought is there, haven't acted on it - Not really worried if I did - just nice not to interrupt at this point, it's been a really smooth fast and I'm sure these things just come and go - a few days of some kind of craving - going to see how I go this time round in just not worrying about it.

My weight has dropped down, my mind has been mostly very clear - my state generally good. I had a couple of dizzy kind of days - worked a lot physically so not suprizing, where I live the weather is very back and forth, had a sudden increase in temp, doing some massive spring cleaning and gardening - great to do, tired me out by the second day of it and I felt a bit dizzy for the next couple days with that and the time of the month thing on top of the fasting - That feeling has passed completely now though, I thought it might last, but no - which is good - not doing much juice at all - some days I have 2 small juices, drink a lot of mineral water, tea, a cocoa and a coffee once or twice a day - the juices not every day - they don't call to me, nice when I do make them. Been doing a lot of yoga - slowing down, meditation - evenings I have less energy so I tend to wake, do yoga and play music, do my day's work - and wind down after 5 or 6 with a silly show or some music. Today I'm a little more tired as it's the first pressure off rest day I've had in ages. My bf went away for 5 days on a work trip so I've got a bit more time and space and today decided just to really do a bit more deep stretching and practice and not worry about getting anything else done. More creative mind switched on, writing a little music, prose, etc.

Want to keep going a long time - feeling good, the only tough thing is denying the desire sometimes for the comfort feeling of food or the boredom of life without so much flavor and sensation. I remember though when you think of fasting as a feast for the soul it helps break this kind of feeling. Reflecting on how life gives us the opportunity to progress in our maturation, develop wisdom and peace of mind - how this truly is a discipline, developing any real qualities beyond those that are in place and come easy - the ones I mean that will transform us. The way the world is always pulling at us and how to develop the kind of inner attitude that resembles the mountain - strong and immovable in its purpose and strength of wisdom. Stability seems to be a big theme for me of late - seeing the importance of it, and the general lack of it in society today, relationships, etc. Kind of an immature society full of drama. Thoughts I'm meditating on... Changes I'm wanting to integrate. Life is always ups and downs, that is it's nature - how to be a boat that sails on these waves and keeps going to it's treasured island regardless of the various weather it travels through.

Will write again soon :) Nice to see the days are kinda adding up and going by, not too quickly to enjoy each one tho!

 

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