8:27 am
January 6, 2011

I am needed to take the FES Flower Essence Remedy
called Fear Less. My anxiety levels could be off the charts
if I truly allow myself to feel into everything that
is on my plate.

FEAR LESS

http://www.fesflowers.com/fes-store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=15...



TRULY THIS IS AN UNMANAGEABLE
SITUATION

Truly this is an unmanageable situation.
I have built this up for many years
to this point of needing to move on and out of this.
Is it possible to get out of this home situation
that has been my comfort zone,
the home base for thousands of pounds
of books and papers and archives and
manuscripts, and dreams that are sprawled
out an office, a bedroom, a basement,
a dining room, and innumerable other places
if I extend my mind that far on this property?

IS IT CONCEIVABLE TO LEAVE HERE?

Is it conceivable to live a place where
I have lived since 1982?

How do you put this much into one room
and some space in another basement
that will have limited room?


HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE TO
MOVE OUT OF HERE?

How long would it take to move out of here?
How many hours did it take to build this up?
How many hours would it take to tear it down,
to strike the set?

REVIEWING THE NOTES
THE JUDITH SAID YESTERDAY AT 4 PM
JANUARY 5, 2011

Judith was harsh yesterday.
She wanted me to name feelings
right off the bat.
She said she heard something different
in my statement that I had reached a point
where I would no long live in this insanity
the way it is.

She challenged me at first to be the manager
and accept what this asks of a person.
They we looked at the reality that I have been
saying for more than five years,
I do not want to be the manager.


MY LIFE IS SPLIT IN MANY PIECES

The secret of my success is that
I have learned to fragment into many pieces.
I have achieved success through wearing blinders.


THE HOUSE ALONE IS MORE THAN
ONE PERSON COULD HANDLE

The House alone is more than one person
could handle. The elegance of eight people living
together on 1/3 acre property
demands a high level of cooperative living.

We all came in bringing our own stuff.
I never had an interview process that was equal to the task
of identifying who was suited for this living situation.
The living situation as finally imploded to a state of
chaos and what feels like walking on shattered glass.


VACANCIES?

Whenever there was a need for a vacancy.
I would put aside everything else in my world
and tend to this.

I would interview.
I would go through the long and arduous
process of repeated contact and follow up until
the person either said yes or no.
Many times, this intake would involve hours and hours
of dedication and baby sitting.

Moving in to a new place is not easy for anyone.
That is an understatement.

It is good to remember this now.
How tortuous the process has been.

In the last month there has been a complete breakdown
in the process.

One person--that a manager would was in charge of
being the manager--would not have allowed this situation
to breakdown to this point. A manager has to have rules.
A house has to have rules. This person broke all rules
regarding moving out, and moving in to another structure.
They have barracaded themselves into another structure
on the land without clear agreements for them being in there.

Oh my God, is that possible?

There is no clarity about the rent that they are paying.
The budget depends on that rent.

There is no communication that is healthy about this.
This is an unacceptable situation
that is being accepted.

Then, the group is asking for a voice.
There do not want to leave the choice of a new housemate
up to the person who has been in charge of the process
all these years.

This came to a head during Mercury Retrograde.
A woman was looking for a place to live.
A room was available unexpectedly.
The rent was needed.

The community did not want her to live here.
She is my guest.

This situation has bought many things to the surface.

I am ashamed.
I am ashamed that we are living in a group situation
where so much unsaid communication
is passing as a way of being in this house.
Now, the home situation has broken down to the place
where....


GOOD STUFF





PHOTOS FROM
THE PACIFIC SYMPOSIUM 2009
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=452634162234&set=a.452633222234.264554...



MATERIALS COMPOSITE PACIFIC SYMPOSIUM
2010 YOUR ENCHANTED GARDENER

MASTER COMPOSITE LINK
http://curezone.com/blogs/fm.asp?i=1692615



GOOD THINGS

......Wow!!!
This is worth living for....

I better ground now...
pay the rent.
See how I can pull this life together.






The Shift is on.
We will not find ground
until we go deep.

We are all called into into the Soil
and the water, to cleanse, renew.

To turn breakdowns into breakthroughs.


HAVE YOU RECEIVED
A LIVE HERBAL TREATMENT FROM
YOUR ENCHANTED GARDENER?






ROOT YOUR DREAM
http://curezone.com/blogs/fm.asp?i=1708012



MATERIALS

Please look this over
and be prepared to Root Your Dream.

inside our Four Pages with the
Materials we use at the Altar for
Rooting Dreams.

To View the materials go here.

http://curezone.com/blogs/fm.asp?i=1708012











 

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