Feeling extremely discouraged and despondent.
I am listening for rain. I need a sign
from nature.

I am writing, "Must fight back!"
in a moment's escape, a mil-second
between giving up.

An impossible situation at home
is getting the best of me.

The house is unrentable.
The house is dangerous and unmanageable.
I am loosing money.
One housemate will not communicate,
He gets angry at me.
Now there is anger coming from the other co-owner
and one person inside the house.
I am loosing money.


Took steps, found a way, to
get some pieces of needed info
to the bank at Chase. Faxed them.
These are steps to cooperate with
a refinancing, or a possible willingness to sell
here. I do not see the option of forming a foundation
under the current circumstances.

I am fighting for my life now.

I will do my best to call out for help.

I will do my best to keep a candle light
and remember that the tools that I use
to help me stay balanced and in the light.

Spent some time looking for news of the Omnibus
bill later in the day. That is what a person looks for
now if they want to know the future of food.
Our food is imperiled.

Witnessed some lovely videos I made at the
Hillcrest Farmers' Market. I need to let my friends
know I am in dire straits now here at home.

I have to find the will to reach out and get help.

I cannot live here alone now.
I have to tell the truth.

5:21 am

Is that it?
Do I hear rain.
Please.
yes.
Please.
Please.
yes.

Yes.
It is raining.
Please more.

PlANTS WERE SUFFERING YESTERDAY

No one watering.
I was busy pushing through stuff
to send to bank for refinancing or selling the house.
I am scared.

Got out of bed to search for the
Master card I pulled around Thanksgiving.
Found it Will upload it here now.

I have to work with the rain more.
It has stopped.

5:29 am

Need to pull down my bible.

A wall seems around Washington.
Not sure that people can reach them.
#S-510 FDA Food Safety Modernization Act,
is buried in the final page so non one will have
the strength to see it.

Checked out a couple Dr. Bernard Jensen books
from the Pacific College Library.

5:31 am

More rain now.
The rain seems to be in sync with my thoughts,
whether my thoughts are postive, uplifted, or
negative.

Found an interesting find the other night.
Someone is doing something extremely closely
to the work I have been doing with Plant Your Dream.
Julie Bergman saw it when she was in a store at Mt. Palomar.
I have been doing this work, Plant Your Dream, For more than
20 years. They have been doing it since the month I put
put my ideas in the Space of Love Magazine that appeared
in April 2009 on the internet. I would like to reach out to them,
and see if they want to work together. I want to give them
Blessing rather than feel like something that was birthed through
me is being used--in very close content--by other
people. It is O.K., my spirit says, I can generate new ideas
one a minute.

It is important that I fight for my life
because of the service I am here to do.
I have planted 1000 years of peace on earth.
If I can keep getting support, I can do a lot more
with this life. I did not meet Dr. Bernard Jensen until
he was 67 or so. He lived until 92 and had many, good,
great years. He was down, very down, right before I met him.
He was very discouraged and disheartened.
I better go out and cultivate this pray.
I did go down and open up the rain barrel to catch rain.

I am not too comfortable putting this blog out too widely.

I do not like to admit to this struggle.
It is with demons, as Judith said in her note yesterday
morning?

Are the demons inside me for needing to clear space?
I cannot do this alone.

5:38 am
more rain.
Thank you.

I am not alone.
Thank you.
--Keep the beet and Angels.

5:38 am

oh, my clock may be a couple minutes off.
How is that possible?
I thought that apple sync with the world clock.

5:42 am

Was able to fill a BioSmart container
with rain water falling off the roof
outside my stairs. I put beet seeds in it first.
It is sitting on my desk.

I will Light a candle now.
The Winter Solstice is officially next Tuesday.
I need people here not to help with carry off
diffuse the energy that is here in too much stuff
unneeded. Whether I can say here to fulfill
the Vision, Dream, or mission, or leave,
I must clear now.

This is a priority.

5:45 am

I am going to find some Job's Tears
and put them in another container of BioSmart
with the falling rainwater.
I will be back.

5:45 am

O.K. filled one little cup with Job's Tears
and then rainwater. Too small a container.
Filled Very fast. These are the Job's Tears
that Dalya Mira grew at her home.

I did not have hardly any crop this year.
It was a poor year for harvest of Job's Tears here.
The water flow was erratic on the front yard
where I allowed another person to come in and
takeover. Na helped here. I allowed the take over.
It was a difficult scene.

I also filled up another BioSmart Container
with rainwater. It took about five minutes.
I emptied the recyled yellow bucket that A dislikes
into the bigger 25 gallon container.
The rain is slowing down again.
I have to go back out to gather the rain.


CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
ON THE ALTAR

Anna has made a delightful array of Christmas lights
on the Cornucopia Altar. Someone gathered all the
pomegranates and put them in the glass container
that i had in mind for funds to come in.
I am going to leave them in there and put up another
glass container for money to buy the house.
I would like $1.00 each for a lot of people,
and other funds to come in too.

This is a donation button where you can send in
some money if you want the house to be left
as a legacy for the future on Peace on Earth.

I would like to see that happen.
It could be a park with a museum.
The neighborhood is going to be redeveloped.
If I do not stay here, I am not sure what will become
of the property. Likely another good earth person
might be able to manage it better than I can.

I do not want to manage this.
I want to have my elder status here appeciated.
I would like to teach from here,
and rejoice that humanity and I persisted
and came into a time of fulfillment.

6:02 am
December 16, 2010

It is 6:02 am now PST.
The rain is slow. i better go out.
Part of me wants to turn attention to C-PAN 2
to see what my future friends in Washington are doing
with the Omnibus bill. Please protest. Please.
Please write and call your senator now.
Please. Show them that Democracy is not a spectator sport.
Do not let them do this to us. We all are asking for
decontaminated food safety, but the legislators are implicating
themselves now in the destruction and harm of small farmers.
They do not see what I and others are seeing. I do not blame
them. They need to part of a Campaign to Educate Washington
on Real Food Safety.

6:05 am

I do not hear rain. i better go out again.

6:08 am

Rain not falling fast enough.
Back inside. Kidneys starting to hurt
from being outside. Too cold on my hand
now to gather the rain. I want to go back into my
warm bed.

I can see the headlines now.
Enchanted Gardener catches pneumonia
while out in cold catching rain.
Not a bad way to go.

6:10 am

SAGE OF WORLD TAROT CARD


Sage of Worlds
Voyager Tarot Deck
by James Wanless,
dear friend, I have not heard from.
I better call him for a reading.
He can help, Keep the Beet sez now.
Thank you Keep the Beet.





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