believe

Date:   6/8/2010 9:16:05 PM ( 14 y ago)

Ate my salad all day long. Three meals - lunch, dinner and snack at the evening meeting.

Step 10. I cannot afford 'justifiable anger'. I truly believed at one point in time that if I didn't become angry and fight I would just absolutely get absorbed by the maniacs around me. I have such a protective bubble around me. I could never surrender to it before. I actually would not allow myself the vulnerability.

I am angry, tired, relieved, frustrated, and tired tonight. I washed my face and brushed my teeth.

One year ago when I first returned, I was so ready to change everything about me. I've run out of gas and I'm pushing the car. That's okay. Just keep pushing. Triple A will be here in many forms.

My son's Dad asked me for the Step 10 templates I created the other day. Tonight he called and asked a question on them.

I have to believe that the healing is somehow reaching our son. I just have to believe it.

Thank you for another day, G*d.

 

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