day 2

Date:   6/4/2010 8:00:53 AM ( 14 y ago)

I allow my emotions to wag me around like a tail might wag the dog. I don't like who I am and how I've lived. I've had brief reprieve times over the years - but the past 4+ years have been the worst. I treat my life like a never-ending story and each emotion gets a page. My life is based on 'feelings' rather than accomplishments and contributions. I rationalize all I've done based on feelings. Sounds all too familiar. I awoke to no mother based on her 'feelings'. My father left because of his 'feelings' and I didn't see him for 4 years. Feelings have been the rationale where I come from.

I am not a child, I am recovering from my immaturity and twisted thinking. I may have lived that way in the past and now I have a choice.

So, today.

Carob-banana smoothie with almond milk.

Huge green salad for lunch. Cabbage and turnips are a nice change but they are not suitable for a main ingredient in salad. More like a splash for flavor if you will. Hearty, I'll say.

Snacking. I need something crunchy. I dumped the almonds not once but twice on a quarter-mile stretch of road when I was driving yesterday. All gone. I ate what didn't hit the floor directly. That floor is disgusting and I'm being polite in my description.

So. snack. I don't want apples - that has been established earlier this week. Maybe just some strawberries - no crunch, just sweet. Bring napkins and hand sanitizer or I'll have red finger tips all day.

Thank you for another day.

 

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