day 1

Date:   6/3/2010 10:06:44 AM ( 14 y ago)

On evening 8, I ate what is not on my list to eat. I did not get accepted into a training program I learned. At first I fell into a pit and then slowly chose to believe the G*d has me exactly where I am supposed to be. Yup, that and some Mexican food please. I'll believe it, with cheese and a side of sour cream - thanks. Worked a sub-job last night for two hours. When I got home I shut off the phone, watched a movie and ate. I got up at 9:30 this morning. I was not a better person for it.

So, today, today, today.

Banana smoothie for breakfsst.

Huge salad w/cabbage, turnip, peppers, tomato and onion for lunch.

More fund-raising this afternoon.

Cried on and off all day yesterday. I feel like such an alien in my own life. From a family of six to just me. G*d has it 'just me' so that I can heal and nurture myself after Trace's death. This is where I am supposed to be. I cannot allow myself to think any differently.

This evening I work a part-time sub position cleaning for 2 hours. I called a friend when I got up to see how she is. She shared quite a bit. Will return a voice mail I got when on the phone with the first friend. A newcomer. Will ask her how she's doing.

I will not eat junk today. I commit to going for a walk to talk to G*d, dropping off a plant to my friend at work. going into the city for a quick appt., fund-raising a bit, pick up some strawberries.

xo

 

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