failed wish by mariposa azul .....

but still wishing on...

Date:   12/30/2009 3:48:40 PM ( 13 y ago)

i need to be kind to myself. i was doing really well & it only took a moment of weakness (alcohol induced weakness) and my head hit the toilet again. aAAAAggghhhhh!
but i need to keep on reminding myself to be kind....i need to get over not make excuses. focus on the why of my weakness so that i have better ammunition next time.
i know that i need to give myself permission to enjoy food.
my need to be thin should take back seat to my being food obsessions just take over...
stupid me totally wants to begin a fast this new year's day. i would like a partner...but i know any one of my friends or family would shoot that plan down in a second.
Hell, if i were them, i guess i would too.
dunno, i might still start on new years...
one kind day at a time.


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