No matter how we try, death is hard to accept

Date:   10/29/2009 5:57:36 PM ( 15 y ago)

Former dancer Niemi was married to Swayze for 34 years

The widow of actor Patrick Swayze has spoken about her grief at her first public appearance since his death.

Speaking at the Women's Conference in Long Beach, California, Lisa Niemi said Swayze's passing last month left her feeling sadness "on a cellular level".

"I thought during the 22 months of my husband's illness that it gave me all this time to get used to the idea of losing him," she said on Tuesday.

"It wasn't the same at all. The actual loss is an animal of its own."

Her husband's death, she continued, "made all the sadness and grief previous to that look like an intellectual concept".

Memoir

Swayze, best known for his roles in Dirty Dancing and Ghost, died in September from pancreatic cancer.

Swayze (left) died in September after a long battle with pancreatic cancer

Niemi, who co-authored her husband's posthumously-published memoir, was speaking at a panel discussion on grief attended by several thousand women.

The panel included actress and activist Susan Saint James and Maria Shriver, wife of California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Her comments came ahead of a one-on-one interview with US talk show host Oprah Winfrey, to be broadcast in the US on Friday.

Swayze was diagnosed with advanced stage four pancreatic cancer in January 2008. His widow said he fought to the last.

"Cancer may have taken Patrick, but it didn't beat him," she sai

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