funny how a few words can hurt so much

Date:   11/4/2008 8:33:27 AM ( 16 y ago)

I realized earlier that while water fasting my mind automatically starts to wonder and I end up spending a lot just thinking about things; whether they are relevant or not.

There is a guy I like, a lot. He is everything that I need and want right now. He makes me smile without having to say much. he is the only one who can make my cry and smile at the same time by just being himself. He is the guy who I hope to be with soon.

But lately, things have been weird. When I say weird, I mean that we have become distant and withdrawn. Initially we would chat every night and speak about random things (if you guessed that, you know me too well). But now, we chat once a week. Yes, I am aware that I am writing exams but a message now and then would be nice.

It’s like I do not know him. Worst of all I fear that he has found someone else who could possibly be better suited for the role of possibly making him happy. Today he told me he cannot see me for the at least the next 6 weeks. I never thought I could feel so down and sad within the space on 2 seconds.

I handled things calmly and I said that it would be okay. I am insecure, that is no secret. So my fear right now is that he might find someone else. But my head is telling me to hold on and keep things nice and comfortable between us so that he maintains his interest. I think I will do this…I have to try and rekindle what he first saw in me. Should I lose him, I know he will remain a friend and that I could move on BUT I DON’T WANT THAT.

So due to my depression, I wont be going to the gym. Im afraid I might just cause an accident driving to the gym.

….sigh…..how a few words can hurt so much…..sigh…..


 

Popularity:   message viewed 2412 times
URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=1292333

<< Return to the standard message view