7:59 AM
September 4, 08

I am going to take some photos of the Basement this morning.
I am going to take my Baby Mac out there under the Olive Tree and set it up in my work area.

I could hardly get out of bed this morning.

I am looking deep into Imcompletes from the past.

There is a lot of pain in the past.

There is a lot of pain in these Notebooks from the past.

I see a relentless Pursuit of an Ideal as well

It is like a scriipt that my life has been following.

There is a sucession of events over the years,
A History of Peace on Earth being attempted
and fulfilled through one person. I sense
we are each born to do that, record a History
of Peace on Earth.

I have been witness to my history.

I have held the space for the evolution of consciousness that exists today.

The Whole LIfe Expo was one of my terrains.
The New Age Movement was wanting to Make A Living from what they were doing
at these Expos.

This was a stress underneath at times for me, but foremost I have been compelled
to hold a Sacred Space over the years.

Robert Muller, then Undersecretary General of the U.N.
handed me a U.N. Peace Medal around 1984 for the work I would do in my life.

That was at one of the Mandala Conferences.

It took a Broken person to hold the Space.
I have been used many times by spirit.
I became the insturment for energies that wanted to Survive and Thrive.

A lot of what I have done has been out of a need, a need for love,
and to be Valuable and Valued. I can see that.

There are a lot of precious writings over the years,
in between the dross.

I thought I would shower, take a nap, and do one more round last night.
I could not get out of bed.

I could hardly get out of bed this morning.

My Blog helps.

I do not want to hide the Brokenness.

It is through the Crack that the Soul enters the world.

The Crack is a Birth Channel.

There are some beautiful birth photos and photos of pregnancy
that were taken around 1990. Penny Casanova asked me to record
her waterbirth. She came over many times.

I would upload some of those photos that are in the realm of Art,
but I do not want to offend.

She was naked in the garden.

Those photos are in my book THE REBIRTH OF MOTHER EARTH.

The challenge is to keep my energies up in the face of so much mess,
chaos, and broken dreams.

There are thousands of people...thousands of names of people...
I never had a system of activating this network.

There are so many broken dreams along the way.

So much offense....I have stressed and hurt many people without
meaning to do that. There are so many events that did not go as I thought.

I have never had a conventional approach to offer my services.

I have been inspired many times.

There is also a consistent series of feedback notes where I stopped
to ask for comments of wnat a person experienced.

Spirit broke through in so many events.

People were uplifted, and touched realms that were alive in me
that are uncommon in the world.

I was healed time and again through service.

It is so very easy to see a needy person.
I do not like many of the day to day writings where
I am asking for something such as space on a program.

I was never good at this, but there is this consistent
Winning over and rising.

It is almost as if the higher up a person was in attainment in their own life,
the easier it has been to be seen and accepted.

Judith speaks about coming down the God Ladder.

Chef Jem has been a great help through all of this Clearing.
He empties my papers into the Recycle Bin.

I would imagine I am 1/5 th through clearing and going thorugh my things
in the basement.

I am weary and downtroden.

There are so many photos of people I have lost.

I stop to look up the name of Alice Hoover or Shirin Strauss.
I cannot find them on the internet.

Success? More Life Fulfillment?
The solution may be doing things in a different way.

Maybe Completing on the Books and letting Complete Wriings go out.

Right now I am once again putting my PUblishing Contacts on hold to
clear more space.

I am clearing more space for what can be new.

When you plant a seed, you need to anticipate giving it room to grow.

There have been many projects here that were stiffled by not having room to grow.

I could plant a new seed. I could get someone else and get myself inspired
by a new seed, but Chaos reigns from the approach.

Too many new seeds. Too many unfinished projects.

Those who succeed in this world do so by another system.

I have done some large things in other worlds and brought them down here.
No one may know. I can see I am driven by a will to have what
I have done seen.

I would like the Enchanted Garden, as an understanding
to be seen.

That is O.K.

The task at hand is today.




 

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