Self-reintroduction: Some progress in longer fasting; need a plan, need to make a plan based on what I really am willing to do; now sort of committed for life to at least raw food only if not totally to green living food only (sprouts)
Date: 3/24/2008 2:54:16 PM ( 16 y ago)
I am making this post some time after beginning this blog. I am continuing the blog as a "Ten-Day Fast Blog" though that would seem to be a blog of a simple ten-day fast; with the idea that the blog will as a whole chronicle my achievement of a ten-day fast in a context of really working through permanently my diffuculties in achieving this.
I am a food addict and compulsive overeater. I suffer terrribly from this and my life is quite empty and bleak because of it. I know that fasting is the answer to all my problems. i have experienced total release from depression and my brain fog and my fatigue and my unwillingness-to-exert-myself or do mental or physical work -- total release from my desire to get high, following 3-day fasts, in the past. I fast at least weekly and have come to know and trust thefastign "detox" process (which seems to me to be simply and predominantly the struggle of the abused food-waste-elimination system, basically the large intestine, to achieve throwing off its wastes without the harsh stimulus of self-intoxicating eating... basically the major struggle of any fast is the struggle to have a bowel movement without the usual shock to the system provided by eating... and the goal of the healing process of any fast is pretty much to get so that you will stop eating in such a way as to shock your body. What I would like for myself is to practice a radical self-respect, that of totally refraining from eating if ANY part of me -- mind, body, spirit -- is THE SLIGHTEST BIT uncomfortable with eating FOR ANY REASON. This is what I would like in life. And then when I ate I would like to be able to stop THE INSTANT I felt the SLIGHTEST urge to do so, FOR ANY REASON. What seems to be required is for me to adhere to an exclusive diet of what I term "green, living" foods -- basically sprouts; highly sprouted items, that have a green leaf and are past the stage of any starchiness, and are also not "cheesed" or rotten)
So, that's my goal. So then I have these various resistances to the goal. And in practice, as I try to stick to a living green or at least raw diet, I encounter total unwillingness to stay out of the processed food sometimes, and total unwillingness to continue important fasts.
One month ago -- probably due to havign strong support -- inthe form of someone fasting actually with me -- I achieved a 3-day fast, the longest in 4 years for me. I want to keep this up.
I am taking time off from my degree program now, wpecifically to "get sober" by learning to fast.
I am horribly overwhelmed adn confused and beaten up at the moment.
I really need support, I guess. Specific support for fasting.
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