Day 3 of 92.

Date:   3/10/2008 6:31:32 AM ( 16 y ago)

It's day 3 and I'm surprised at how quickly days one and two went by (in hindsight, of course). Where to begin?

Yesterday I shopped for the food for the recipes, sat in the hot tub for an hour and read a book about 'second adulthood' - very inspiring. I did not make one single phone call yesterday. I phoned 4 friends on Saturday, but none on Sunday. I figured I'd give them a break from my eternal questions on life, its meaning and what it means to be happy. I wish I could just be content and stop all the questioning. A little is healthy - but I feel like I'm groping in the dark some days and my friends listen patiently. I'm lucky to have them. No real solution ever comes from the questions I pose to them, they're figuring out their lives. They all claim to be happy, successful, and on the right track. So why do I feel like I never really am having honest conversations with them? In the end it's yup, I'm happy, no I don't want to talk about what I dissatisfied with and what changes might need to be taken, I'm happy, happy, happy. I need to go inside myself and figure out mine. I fear that it's not the neat little package I hoped it would be. Marriage, house, job, parenting my step-kids. I'm hungry as hell and I'm not talking about food. I'm talking about conversation, debate, figuring it out out-loud with people. I start talking and people look at me like they're a deer in the headlight. Stop asking so many questions, their look seems to say. Just be happy. Oh, man.

Food, that's why I'm blogging. Raw vegan food.

Yesterday was fabulous. I was drinking Tahitian Noni juice in a way that I don't think is legal. Right out of the bottle at will. It's an ounce-a-morning deal. I just needed more. I'm taking my amino acids and multi-vites as prescribed, water w/electrolytes, apples, salad w/raw vinegar and raw olive oil and raw almonds. That was yesterday.

The soybeans that I was sprouting did not sprout and my wheat did not sprout (move, change, expand) for Rejuvelac either. I began them Saturday night. It's been 6 years or so since I've looked at a wheat berry, but I think the 'health food' store gave me groats and not berries for the wheat. I also think that when I asked for the wheat to sprout, the clerk truly thought he was giving me what I needed. I'll go into the city to get what I need. Rural life - gotta love it. I another day for barley to grow for grass and the gal took my number. She called me back saying she didn't know where to find it to order for the store. I emailed her a few links. It's a bit frustrating to seemingly know more than the owners and clerks at the local 'health food' store. I just need to let go of my expectations, take a deep breath and let my judgements go and try to be kind and helpful. That's it.

It took ALOT longer to do a triple batch of flax seed crackers than I had thought. I had salad for dinner again. I enjoyed shopping for the food and saw the wife of a friend. How are you? Very well. I really meant it, too. I felt VERY WELL. The first sign of change, internal wellness. I'm on the right track. Look for the guideposts. There small, but real.

I slept sporadically last night. Hardly at all frankly. It was lights out at 11. I rolled around every hour or so. That's just the way it is. Last night was last night. I can leave it there.

Off to work.



 

Popularity:   message viewed 1793 times
URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/fm.asp?i=1129503

<< Return to the standard message view