feb's fasting failure, kind of by kozzzmic .....

fasting, failing, breaking fast

Date:   2/21/2008 10:42:33 AM ( 14 y ago)

Bleh. Feeling in a crappy mood and hoping maybe writing some of it down will help a little. My Feb. fast ended on Day 9...I broke it all wrong, and I feel like crap. On top of that, since I broke fast (6 days ago) all I want to do is eat cooked food and stuff that is just not good for me (salty, etc.) - the antithesis of my raw diet. I am feeling horribly guilty and confused and wondering where my will and ambition went. It has affected my sleep and mood, and general mental state.

I think one of the main reasons I "needed" to break this fast earlier than I planned has to do with two main things. One is the nagging hunger feeling. Unlike my January fast, it did not go away after a few days...it seemed I just got more and more jonesing for food of any kind. Also, I was horribly dizzy about five days in...this did not happen one bit during my first fast.

So, based on the above, I have made the novice conclusion that I was not ready to fast so soon after the last one...maybe I am just not healthy enough to do it? Keeping that in mind, I am trying to load up on nutrient-rich foods and supplements for a while, in the attempt to maybe be a bit more conditioned to fast longer in March. That is the plan.

On a plus note, since I am eating again, I am able to start my iodine supplement. I went to see my shrink last week who completely shot down my iodine supplementation and basically told me I am wasting my time and money. Instead of being completely pissed off about it, I instead had a very strong sense of him being uninformed and basically sounding completely closed minded and pretty arrogant. I may have to consider looking around for a doctor who can admit to not knowing all the answers. It is tough when you are uninsured and basically have to accept services from anyone who will extend them on a sliding scale, which is the position I am in at the moment.

Well, I think that is it for February. I think I may just hibernate for a little while, try my best to eat raw, wait for the dehydrator that is on backorder to come into stock, keep scrubbing the hell out of the non-organic veggies I buy since I am on a budget and dream about March and things beginning to melt a little bit.
peace, kozzz


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