Abandonment feelings are intense right now.

Date:   2/18/2008 3:28:16 PM ( 16 y ago)

1:28 PM
February 18, 08

Core abandonment issues are up for me.
It is the last day of Mercury Retrograde.
I don't want to make any excuses
as if external astrological energies are the cause.

I can't Judith Reno last night.
I was surprised to get through.

She helped me pinpoint the feeling.

She tells me that reparenting is about
Naming and Validating.

Did some gardening today with James.
We cleared the Job's Tear patch of a lot of dead stuff
and old growth.

I got some special photos of the Hummingbird babies
with mouth's open. I have been concerned that the
last time I looked, I have not seen the mother.

I was wanting to get this kind of picture,
the baby with mouth open, head up.

The mother had not abandoned the nest,
she was just giving the babies more space now.

She came and hovered around me as
I was taking photos.

I have more record keeping to do.

Record keeping seems to take me away from the time
I inviest in dreams, or maybe it is the time I invest in dreams
that hides this underlying pain.

I woke up with heart pain.

James is making some lunch.

I feel I could rest.

I have not eating anything. all day.

 

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