Someone's watching over me

Date:   10/27/2007 7:30:14 PM ( 17 y ago)

It started in 2005 on New Year's Day when I made a wish that it was time to make a change in my health.

Let me recap. My eczema had rapidly worsened in my late teens that I had a nightmarish graduation ball and Christmas Eve performance where my body was "burning up" internally. At that time, steriods were still a mainstay to keep my skin under control. But really, those medications are not helpful in anyway. My skin was thin, still itchy, hypopigmented and I was gaining more and more weight even when i was dieting. Life was just a mess. During Christmas Eve, I had a date with a friend who was secretly infatuated with me. We took in the festive atmosphere while strolling through the prettily-decorated streets teaming with people with plastic smiles stretching from ear to ear. We brought me to the movies though I have to admit "Phantom of the Opera" did not really fit my idea of Christmas. We had tequila at an expensive hotel louge, then he took me to the town centre where I was performing for the Christmas countdown. We bade farewell. The performance was great but I felt very sickly all evening and really hot internally. After the performance, I broke up with my temporary boyfriend, which he had known about since we started hanging out months before because we made a pact that after high school graduation, we would separate because we were heading in different directions. I was going to med school and he law. I could be going to UK, though I decided not to in the end. He had compulsory military service and I was not too keen in having on waiting for him. We had been great friends but we knew the hook up was just puppy love. Pretty much a love that started when our friends started pushing us together.

Then, New Year Eve came. All alone, watching the sordid New Year Eve's specials. I looked at my life and decided that I had to do something about my eczema. At that time, it did not look nasty, but I felt rotten. I was heading for med school and I did not want to be stuck in a rut when it came to my health. I was ready to find a real relationship after dancing from one partner to another throughout my teens. But really, I wanted to be well and pretty.

However, the journey was nothing to toast about. I was living in hell for more than 2 years now since New Year 2005. I had tried different therapies and suffered terribly from halting the traditional use of steriods and I remember readching a point where I thought I was going to die. But I did fall into a chronic depression because the eczema gnawed away at all parts of my life: academic life, social life, and physical life. I no longer where anything flattering anymore, but instead cover myself up completely in attmept to be completely invisible. I have not attended social meetings for I-don't-know-how-long. I felt missed. I missed the spunky girl I used to be. Maybe I should have just surrendered to a life of steroids and dealt with the predictable arthritis later in life. Ha. How optimistic.

My eczema has a life of its own. Like a celebrity, it constantly changes its image. There was a time it was mildly inflammatory at the elbow and back knee joints. Then,these areas got itchy. Not long after, itch worsened like crazy and inflammation became so frustrating that I had to burn them with hot showers. Next, edema occured and my skin began to crack and bleed. That time was just traumatic. When steroid finally erased the more urgent outward inlfammation, my body temperature suddenly shot up and stayed at an elevated level for a long time. I would get all flushed that there was a point even cold packs did not subside the heat. I have to admit my eczema was made worse because I was a victim of eating disorders and was abusing laxatives. Stress at school, never sleeping, eating poorly, dieting constantly and struggling with my self-esteem. Yup, sounds like the typical story of an adolescent--one definitely heading for disaster.

Back to the point. When 2005 opened, I quit steroids and started looking for new cures. My body went into serious pain and deterioration without the check by the steriods. The herbal cures were making things worse. And I was getting seriously ill. Emphasize serious. I don't know how I managed to get through the first year. The weeping went away, but then my skin became incessantly dry and wrinkling was frightening. Itch was exploding and pain searing, everywhere. Anytime, an eruption would occur and I was constantly on my toes. Life was dreadful. The status today is quite different: dryness has upped many notches and covers the entire body, the skin is ugly dull with mild inflammation at the elbow and around knee joints, wrinkling at the knee caps with no itch or pain or weeping.

I am aware what are the contributing conditions underlying my eczema: leaky gut syndrome (much better), poor digestion, hormonal imbalance, slow metabolism, over-reactive nervous system and poor liver function. And of course, not realy watching my diet.

So this is my story and I am going to blog the next 20 days here with my road to recovery. The title is "My love affair with my skin--healing eczema". I have read countless successful testimonials of fasters and know in my gut, water fasting is going to be really fix my eczema and overall health. At the same time,I am taking 6 milk thistles a day to protect and help my liver regenerate. I have read an article too many about how poor liver function leads to dry skin, rashes and inflammation.

Day 1 begins today at 6pm.

I'd be really delighted tohave your support and advice.


 

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